“If I could, I would’ve traded places with you in a heartbeat,” he murmurs, the regret deepening on his face.
I give him a pleading look. “If we get back together, you won’t let that happen to me again?”
He lifts his hand and places his palm against the side of my neck. His thumb brushes over my jaw. “I promise it won’t. I’ll protect you with my last breath.”
CARSON
Hailey’s eyes drift over my face, and a smile begins to tug at her lips. “Is that your natural hair color?”
“Yes. It made it easier to watch you.”
“I felt you,” she admits. “Except for the last week.”
“Sorry,” I apologize. “I couldn’t stay away.”
“You make it impossible for a girl to get over you,” she says with a teasing tone.
I keep staring at her, scared this is just a dream.
“Will you forgive me?” I ask.
When Hailey nods, the sun starts to break through the darkness.
“You’re mine?” I ask.
A smile I haven’t seen on her face before tugs shyly at her lips as she nods.
“Are you still scared of me?”
She scrunches her nose. “A little bit.”
Tilting my head, I say, “I will never hurt you.”
“I know.” She sucks in a breath and gestures at me. “I need to get to know this version of you. You were intense when I thought you were just a recluse but knowing what you’re capable of doing with your bare hands… and all the weapons…” Her hands flutter nervously, “The whole setup… it’s very intimidating.”
“We’ll take it slow,” I assure her. “Get to know me again.”
“I’d like that.” She gets up, then says, “I’m going to make coffee. You want some?”
“Sure.”
I watch as she prepares the two cups, and then it hits – Hailey’s giving us another chance, and this time there are no lies to ruin it all.
“Just so you’re aware, I’m never letting you go,” I say.
She glances at me with a teasing smile. “You’ve made that abundantly clear.”
Bringing the coffee, she hands me a cup. She sits down, leaning her shoulder against the cushion.
“Can I really not ask you about the contracts?” she asks.
I hate talking about my work but knowing I have to be open with Hailey about it in order to keep her, I say, “What do you want to know?”
She lowers her cup and rests it on her knee. “How does it work?”
“They send the request through, and after I check it out, I reply whether I’m accepting or declining it. After it’s done, the contract is closed, and the payment’s made to my account.”
She gives me a questioning look. “How much do you get for a contract?” Reaching over, she touches my forearm. “If you don’t mind me asking.” Pulling back, she takes a sip of her coffee.
“It depends.” I shrug as I set the cup down on the floor next to the couch. “The time frame I’m given and who it is make a difference in what I ask, but it’s usually between five and ten million.”
Hailey sputters into her cup and coughs a couple of times, and then she gives me a what-the-fuck look. “You’re joking… right?” Her eyes widen. “Oh my God, Carson. What do you do with all that money?” Shaking her head, she mumbles, “I can’t even fathom it.”
“I use some of it to make the work easier. Paying contacts and things like that.” Dimpo flashes through my thoughts. “Some of it I use to help people.”
Emotion washes over Hailey’s face. “The innocent ones?”
I nod. “Sometimes their circumstances place them at risk, and I just make it easier for them, so they don’t get caught up in the same shit again.”
Hailey places her empty cup on the small coffee table, then she tilts her head at me, looking at me with amazement. “Do you even realize what a difference you’re making in the world?”
I shake my head and, scared she’s not seeing the real me and that it will hit her at a later stage, I say, “Don’t make me something I’m not, Hailey. When all is said and done, I’m still an assassin, and I’m not going to stop.”
Heartbreak ripples over her beautiful face. She scoots closer to me, and lifting her hands, her palms find my jaw. She stares deep into my eyes. “Carson, how can you not see it. You keep count of the bad you do but not the good. It’s like you’re refusing to even think that there can be any good in you. Why?”
My gaze drifts over her, wishing I could see myself through her eyes. “Like I said, information can be dangerous. I keep count of the kills so my enemies won’t forget. But the good…” I shake my head and Hailey’s hands lower to her lap. “I forget about them, so no one will be able to trace them through me.”