My tortured hermit, and I just ripped his heart out.
I gasp as it hits again. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you like that. If I had known, I wouldn’t have left. I mean… we could’ve talked the rest of our problems out.”
Shock ripples over Carson’s face, and his eyes zero in on me. “You wouldn’t have left?” he asks, his voice way calmer than I feel.
I nod. “You’re not an assassin, Carson. You’re a vigilante. There’s a huge difference. That’s the reason I left. Freaking assassin my butt.”
He gets up from the couch, cautiously asking, “Will you come back?”
I stare at him for a moment. “We have a lot to talk about still, but I’d like to try.”
Carson’s breaths begin to speed up. “You want to try a relationship? With me?”
My face crumbles with emotion and walking to him, I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him as tight as I can.
“Is that a yes?” he asks.
I nod against his chest. “We can take it slow and really get to know each other this time.”
His arms clamp around me so tightly it borders on being painful. “I’ll go at whatever pace you want.”
“There’s a lot we still need to talk about,” I say as I pull back. “Let’s sit. I just got a lot of exercise in with all the pacing,” I joke, trying to lighten things between us.
Once we’re seated again, Carson asks, “What else do you want to talk about?”
“Everything.” I let out a burst of laughter. “Sorry. It’s going to be a long conversation.”
He gestures for me to start.
God. Where?
Start with the hardest part.
“With what you do, I’m sure you make a lot of enemies.” Carson takes a deep breath and nods. “I…” I think for a moment about how to word it right, not wanting to do more damage than I already have. “What if they come after me?”
His answer comes fast, “That’s why I got MJ for you.”
I nod then say, “By the way, she’s really good. She totally wiped the floor with this guy who kept asking me out.”
Carson’s eyebrow lifts, and his eyes narrow. His voice drops low as he bites out the words, “What guy?”
“Just some guy.” I make a careless motion with my hand. “I don’t know who he is. The point is MJ’s good. I asked her to teach me how to fight.”
“When did this happen?” he asks, not looking happy at all.
“Yesterday.”
Slowly Carson nods. “I’m glad you feel safe with her.”
“Oh, back to the topic of your enemies. If we date, can I still move around freely?”
“Of course.” He reaches for the tag around my neck and taps a finger against it. “If something does go wrong, I’ll find you quickly.”
“Yeaaah… I’m kind of hoping nothing goes wrong. Once was enough for me.”
“It shouldn’t have happened.” He says, regret tightening his features. “I was so focused on trying to figure out how to tell you who I am that I made a stupid mistake,” Carson explains. “If you had known what I do, I would’ve been armed, and they wouldn’t have gotten near you. I’m sorry I let it happen.”
“There was a whole group of…” I remember how he took out the nine in the room and stop from saying he was outnumbered because clearly, he wasn’t.
“I don’t just have enemies. I have a lot of contacts who will help if trouble comes knocking,” Carson tries to set me at ease.
“Who?”
“Damien and Winter. They’re only a couple of hours away. Lucian. He’s in Italy and owes me for saving his ass. My brother and Demitri. Even my brother’s business partner will help out.”
It makes me feel a lot better hearing that.
What else? Oh, right. The lie.
“I get why you lied to me, but please don’t do that again.”
“I won’t.”
“Is there anything I should know?” I ask. “Now’s the time to tell me.”
Carson thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. “Not that I can think of. You know everything. If I’m not working, I’m home.”
“So you don’t have any dark secrets hidden in that bat cave of yours?”
His mouth curves up into a hot grin. “No, I don’t.”
I only have one question left, and I have to swallow hard before asking, “When we were in that room, how did you do it? Not showing any emotion?”
Carson takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before he looks at me. “Keeping you alive was all that mattered. It killed me, but knowing what they could do to you kept me from reacting.”
For the first time, I admit, “You just sitting there, not even looking at me hurt more than what they did to me.”
Carson begins to reach for me but then stops and lowers his hand.
“I’m not saying it to make you feel bad. I just need to talk to you about it.”