“Do you realize she could betray us, tell the world about us? This House would be ruined!”
“She won’t,” I reply.
“How would you know? She was the most dangerous one of all of them with her background,” he spits back, tapping my chest. “You left her there without any insurance that she wouldn’t open her mouth the second you left.”
I grab his finger and say through gritted teeth, “She won’t.”
He looks at me for a second.
“She … won’t put me in danger,” I add.
“You seem awfully sure about that,” he says. “Why?”
I take in another deep breath.
It’s about time I came clean.
“The metal is off.”
His eyes widen. “How did that happen?” But before I can answer, his brows furrow, and he gasps. “You used her.”
“She took them off,” I hiss. “She wanted me.”
He laughs. “She doesn’t want you. She was messing with your head so you’d let her go, and that’s exactly what you did.”
“You haven’t talked to her,” I respond. “I have.”
He rubs his chin and shakes his head. “I did not expect this. Especially not from you.”
I have to swallow my pride. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry will not fix this,” he says, clenching his teeth. “Someone has to pay for this.”
I nod. “I will accept any punishment.”
He opens his mouth, prepared to raise his voice, but then he swallows whatever rage he felt and holds his breath for a few seconds. “I don’t know how to deal with this. After Eli left, I’d expected you back in one piece, ready to restart the House and continue where he left off. But now you’re here, completely wrecked by one girl and without your restraints.”
“I can do this, even without the metal,” I reply.
“Do not forget why they were put on you,” he hisses, pointing at my chest. “We are filled with sin. And you have just proven that very fact.”
I lower my eyes. He’s right. We are. No one is exempt, not even us.
Even the punishers sin, and even the punishers must be punished.
That’s why Eli wanted to end it all, to atone for his sins.
But now I find out he never went through with it. Why should I?
“I can still torture and—”
“You disobeyed orders,” Tobias interjects. “And you destroyed your honor. What do you intend to do about it?”
“I will atone for my sins,” I reply.
“Exactly. As we were told. As we have always done.” He picks up the book from the ground and shows it to me. “The rules are here to guide us. Without them … we are nothing.”
He’s right. The rules are the only things that have kept me balanced. Not listening to them is what got me here in the first place.
“You will return to your homeland,” he suddenly says.
I suck in a breath.
I was only to return on one condition.
“Your service to this House has been dishonorably completed.”
There it is.
The dagger to the back.
The one I knew I would get the second I came back here.
I deserve it.
After all, I ignored my duty, ignored the rules. And now I must pay the price.
I close my eyes and blow out a breath.
“You can pack your things, grab what you need, and go.”
“Yes, sir.” I give him a nod and walk down the stairs to the dungeon where I left most of my stuff … along with my soul.
Because this will be the last time I see this equipment, these cells, these walls.
And maybe my life too.
Chapter 39
April
Three days later
I’ve tried to adjust to life back home.
I really have.
I cleaned my house, took out all the spoiled food from the fridge, got a new job at a local bakery. I even bought a wireless camera system to protect my home from intruders in case anyone tried to grab me again and steal my hard-earned freedom.
Still, something keeps nagging in the back of my head, even as I sit here in my own damn house, eating my own damn cookie on my own damn couch. It doesn’t taste the same. Doesn’t feel the same. Not how I remember it did.
Unexpected.
Like it’s missing something, and I don’t quite understand what.
I take a sip of my tea and a bite of my cookie while listening to the relaxing music coming from the radio. But my heart won’t stop feeling like it wants to cry.
Since coming back here, I’ve never felt lonelier.
Like I actually miss Soren.
But that doesn’t make any sense. He was my captor. He was trying to take me to the cult.
Yet I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since he walked away.
Since he left me in peace. Just like I asked him to.
To be free was all I ever wanted.
Away from the House, away from the cult, back in the haven of my own home.
But it came at a price, one I thought I was willing to pay.