His eyes were dark gray, like heavy English rain, his brow furrowed, the lines at the edges of his mouth deep.
“Especially because you weren’t being open with me,” he added. “You held a lot back, too.”
She realized that her fingers hurt because she had them clenched together. She searched his expression, stunned to think that she might have been hurting him with her restraint all that time when she’d only been trying to deal with her own pain.
“I’ve never really talked about myself,” she excused. “I thought you’d be bored or annoyed, think I was complaining about nothing.”
She still felt as though her inner struggles were insignificant, but glancing up, she saw she had his full attention. She swallowed, shaken.
“When I said I didn’t expect you to love me, it was because I didn’t think there was any reason you should,” she admitted.
He cupped the side of her face. His expression was filled with adoration. “I don’t understand how someone who thinks as deeply as you do doesn’t see her inner value.” His thumb brushed her cheek. “When you started showing your true self, I was so proud and excited and scared that I would crush you before you were out of your shell... I like this woman you’re becoming, Octavia. I love her. In fact, that silly little word doesn’t even come close to describing the vastness of what I feel.” He stepped closer and framed her face with both hands, possessive. The way he looked at her was not soft and tender like Ysabelle’s count, but fierce and enthralled and ravenous. “I didn’t want the pain of loving, but—” He swallowed, his emotions so close to the surface his eyes gleamed. “I couldn’t stop myself from falling for you.”
Her mouth trembled and she wanted to duck her head, but made herself hold his gaze and allow him to see all the hesitations and insecurity and joy and gratitude and love revolving inside her like the colors in a kaleidoscope. Loving wasn’t easy. It was scary and big and cost a piece of the soul. Maybe if she’d really known how powerful and potentially painful it could be, she would have fought it the way he had.
But this, when the man she loved looked back at her with the same open, vulnerable, proud and loving gaze that filled every last shadow of her being with light and warmth...it was worth it.
“I’m sorry I said I’d leave you. I didn’t mean it,” she said.
“Did you see the Neanderthal who came after you? I won’t let you,” he said with a rueful twitch at the corner of his mouth.
She smiled shakily and clasped her fingers around his wrists. “I think there’s something wrong with me because I kind of liked you going caveman like that. I needed to know you would.”
“Don’t encourage me. I’m never proud of losing control, even if it served a higher purpose.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to take the makeup sex onto the balcony so they can hear us?” she asked with mock innocence, shuffling closer and lifting her lips in offering to his.
“Cara, we’re barely going to make it to the bed.”
EPILOGUE
“I’VE BEEN ALL over the house looking for you,” Sandro said.
His sexy voice dragged her mind from what she held in her hand and sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine.
“I wasn’t hiding,” she protested with a smile, turning to meet him halfway across the nursery without dropping what she held. They embraced and kissed. It was a nice surprise to have him search her out. She didn’t hesitate to interrupt him in his office if she needed him during the day, but he was usually there for most of it, running into the city once or twice a week. “What did you need?”
“Nothing. Just I saw Lorenzo outside with Bree, showing off his steps to Nonno. I decided to take a break and visit with them, but I wasn’t out there very long when it occurred to me, if they were all busy out there...” His hands shifted from warm greeting to something more suggestive, straying very low on her back. “We might get busy in here.”
She gave a soft, throaty laugh, leaning her hips into his as she angled back to give him a knowing look. “I’m already busy. I’m going through Lorenzo’s clothes, pulling what he’s grown out of.”
“Bree can do that, can’t she?”
Three guesses what he’d rather she did with her time right now.
“I wanted to do it.” But it could wait. Sorting the piles of tiny pants and shirts made her realize how quickly their son was growing. It was exciting to see him change and develop, but made her wistful for the baby he’d been. “Look what I found.”