“Can we talk names?”
I threw my head back, laughing. Leave it to my sister to push any ugly thoughts to the back of my mind.
“Please, what did you have in mind?”
“I have this list—”
“Wait, what?”
Tess blushed. Actually blushed.
“You know, when I come across a cool name, I put it on a list. You-you don’t do that?” Uncertainty flickered in her eyes.
“Umm... no. But lucky you’ve been doing that. You’ll save my kid from being named Frodo or some other nerdy character.”
Tess beamed. “Okay, so I have a top three for boys and top three for girls.”
“Wouldn’t you rather keep those for your own kids?”
“Eh, who knows if I’ll have any? At the rate my dating life is going, I’ll be a cat lady.”
She shrugged, but I could tell she was just trying to be nonchalant. I hugged the living daylights out of her.
“I can’t wait to be an aunt.”
“I can see that.” Seeing my sister all dreamy filled me with a kind of fuzzy warmth that was completely unfamiliar for me.
“Okay, so I have Beatrix, Francine, Charlotte for girls, and Lionel, Richard, and Jake for boys.”
“You have excellent taste,” I informed her.
“I know, right?”
“Let’s hope Rob agrees with me. Tess... how will I juggle the business and everything?”
“Skye... you worked while studying, then practically had two full-time jobs. You read scientific studies in your spare time just because. You can pull off anything.”
“This is different.” It was a human being, someone tiny and lovable who would need me at all times, and I already envisioned myself running around searching for merchandise or packing boxes with a baby strapped to my chest.
“We’ll make it work,” she assured me. “Don’t worry about the business right now.”
I couldn’t help it though. We’d worked for so long for this dream, planning every step of the way. I was a planner. I always calculated risks, weighed pros and cons, tried to think four steps ahead for any major decision. When Tess and I had decided to quit our jobs, I made three contingency plans. And now? I was honestly too overwhelmed to even come up with one plan.
“Want to call the rest of the gang and tell them?” Tess asked.
“No, I want to tell Rob first. I should go home. I’m super tired.”
“You’re sure you’ll be okay on your own?” Tess asked. “I can come and sleep on your couch.”
“I’ll be fine, but thanks.”
I wanted some time by myself to just think. Now that the initial shock was over, I was ready to go home and just process everything.
Leaving the store, I walked at a leisurely pace, taking the long route to the train. I could think better while on the move. Usually. Now, I was in a weird state where I had so many thoughts that I couldn’t focus on just one of them.
The train was far emptier than usual. The suburban commuters were home long by now, and I found a seat right away. As usual, I pulled up my phone to read, but I couldn’t focus. Was that because I had so much on my mind or because I was pregnant?
What other things would change?