I nod. After a few seconds, so does Pippa.
“Make mine a double,” I instruct.
“Go, tiger,” Pippa tells him. We all laugh, but without much humor. The discussion has taken a turn for the serious. Logan shoves the drinks in our hands, and we spend a few minutes in silence, nursing the whiskey.
“I don’t want to talk about Ava right now,” I say eventually. Logan leans back in his seat, averting his gaze, but Pippa persists.
“I don’t care. You found a great woman, and as far as I can see, you really let her in.”
“Yeah, but when I did that, I knew it was only for a while.”
There’s a loaded pause—a very loaded pause in which I gulp down the entire contents of the glass.
“Sebastian Bennett,” Pippa says through gritted teeth. “Are you telling me that you only went all in because you thought it was a temporary thing?”
“What? Yea—No. Maybe? I don’t know. Fuck no. I can’t think straight.”
“You can’t blame it on the double whiskey,” Logan warns. “You’ve just had it. No one gets drunk so fast.”
“Burning sun and alcohol isn’t a good combo,” Pippa says. “Recap time. Yes or no, Sebastian?”
“No, it wasn’t because it’s temporary. It was because. . . I couldn’t help it. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until I was in it up to my head. Over my head, actually.”
“Good boy.” Pippa pats my arm. “If you’d told me you’re one of those assholes that get the urge to run at the thought of forever, I would’ve beaten the crap out of you.”
“I’m not like that, you know it. I want to carry on the Bennett name and have my own soccer team of kids; but with only siliconed and botoxed sharks in sight, I gave up on that dream years ago.”
When I saw her at the soccer game holding baby Adrian, I could practically see our future together. In fact, I see no future without her. This woman has wedged her way into my heart. She’s glorious. And mine.
Only when Logan sputters his drink and Pippa hugs me, telling me I’m an adorable lion do I realize I’ve actually said at least part of all that out loud. Logan goes to pour himself a fresh glass of whiskey, shaking his head.
Well, it’s all out there already. She might’ve called me a pink panther for all the manliness adorable lion has to it, but I’ll find a way to pay her back. Not now though. Now I need her help. “What do I do, Pippa? I feel like I’m drowning and she’s not even gone yet.”
“Fight for your HEA, brother.”
“I thought you no longer believed in those.”
She puts her hands in mine, leaning closer. “It didn’t turn out well for me, though God knows I tried. He wasn’t worth it. But Ava is, you know that.”
“I do. Damn right, I do. I. . . I know it won’t work. She won’t stay.”
Pippa juts her chin forward, speaking slowly, as if I’m a child. “Then convince her.”
Logan returns empty-handed. “I changed my mind. No more alcohol. Let’s swim to clear our heads.”
“You two go,” I say. “I want some time to think.”
“See,” Pippa tells Logan. “Lion behavior, like I said.” She whisks Logan away before he even opens his mouth, throwing me an encouraging look over her shoulder.
***
Pippa was right. Alcohol and sun is a bad combo. When I stand up, I wobble on my feet, which hasn’t happened in years, so I slump back in my chair. Sometime later, Ava appears on the deck, carrying a heap of something in her arms.
“There you are,” she says. “Logan told me you’re drunk, but I thought he was messing with me.”
She walks to me with the shy smile I’ve come to love. Hell, I’ve come to love everything about her, and that’s the problem. How can I let her go now?
“I like your bikini.” I slur the words so badly, it’s a miracle she understands any of them. She straddles my lap, facing me. Her tits are in my face and her crotch right over mine. I’ll take that any time.