“You, Gia Carini, made a big mistake.”
I swallow hard. I don’t disagree. If I cared only about myself, then it was a mistake.
I saved her, I repeat to myself. That’s what I need to hold onto. I saved another woman.
“You want me to rape you?” he asks, his voice deep and rumbling in his throat.
“Yes,” I say, without hesitation or fear.
“Good.”
I blink, but force my eyes back open, before the blink turns into shut eyes again.
Caspian licks his lip, like he is deciding the best way to devour me.
And, damn it, my nipples perk up at the thought of his tongue licking me like that.
Caspian will not turn me on. It’s just because he’s good looking. His body is strong and fit. His hair is luscious and dark. His eyes are what I like most about him, but they’ve changed. This isn’t the same man I had fantasies about. This man is dangerous.
I am not turned on by Caspian, I repeat over and over to myself.
Caspian backs away from my body. He hasn’t even touched me yet. Not really. Other than moving me to the wall, but I’m pretty sure my body moved voluntarily.
“Undress me,” he says, standing a few feet away from me.
“What?” I ask, not expecting him to give me a command. Dante commanded, but he preferred to use his fists to get me to do what he wanted.
“Do you need your hearing checked?” he asks.
“Um…no…I just…don’t understand.” I would have expected him to tell me to undress. Dante always kept his clothes on when he raped me. I’m wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants. Not exactly real clothes, but it at least hides my body.
Caspian sighs. “I’m not a patient man, Miss Carini. If you’d prefer I use alternative means to persuade you to behave, then I can. If not, I prefer to give you a command, and for you to follow it as soon as I’ve said it. Understand?” His voice is threatening. He will hurt me if I don’t behave as he says, but if I do, he might not beat me. Can I do that? I hate following men’s directions. I’ve dated a few men that thought they could control me in the bedroom and my normal activities. It never worked out for long.
I just healed. I don’t really want a broken bone again. Not so soon. Not when I haven’t had a chance to run yet.
And he’s asking me to remove his clothes, not mine. He’s not asking me to suck his dick or fuck him, yet. I’ll behave, as long as it’s what I want. Then, I will fight.
I walk over to Caspian. He’s wearing a buttoned-down shirt and slacks. I grab the top button at the top of his shirt. My hands tremble at little as I grasp the button. What the hell is wrong with me?
I take a deep breath, as I slowly undo the first button.
“Today, Miss Carini,” Caspian says, eyeing me firmly. I don’t know why I’m Miss Carini, instead of Gia. But I like both of my names rolling off his tongue. Either name he calls me sends chills down my arms and warms my core.
I move my fingers faster, but my stupid fingers stumble at every button, unable to get the tiny buttons to move properly. Caspian doesn’t scold me again though. I finish the last button and pull the bottom of his shirt out of his pants. Then, I push the shirt off his broad shoulders, as Caspian shrugs out of the shirt.
My jaw unhinges, staring at Caspian’s naked torso. Rippling abs cover most of his body, before forming a perfect V that disappears into his pants. I’ve never seen a more toned body. But the shock is in the tattoo which winds around his body.
It’s a thorn from a rose bush. I know it’s a rose bush because he has one in his backyard I’ve stared at for weeks now. But unlike the rosebush in his backyard that is full of flowers, his tattoo has one single flower on his chest, over his heart. I want him to turn around so I can search his back for more flowers, but I know from the pain in his eyes, there are none.
“What does the tattoo mean?” I ask. I don’t expect him to answer me, and honestly, I’m not sure I need him to speak to tell me. It’s pretty clear he lives a dangerous life with plenty of thorns. I would guess the thorns represent his kills, and the flower is his heart, slowly withering away.
“The thorns are every time I’ve felt pain. And the flower is the only time I’ve felt love.”
I catch my breath as he speaks. Love. Caspian is capable of love. He’s capable of feeling pain. Dante wasn’t capable of either.
“I will never love you; remember that.”
Goosebumps cover my body, and I shiver. I don’t know why his words affect me so. I don’t want him to love me. I know him loving me won’t help me escape. I will remain trapped in this house forever, if he loves me. And my only hope at feeling happiness would be for me to love him back. I don’t want love. Love is just its own form of a prison.