“Just because you have nightmares about what happened, doesn’t mean you will forever. Someday you will be able to be with a man again. Until then, you need a safe place to enjoy yourself again,” I say, hoping that man she fucks someday will be me.
I stroke her face, and then I walk away toward the door.
“You are safe here, Kai. No one can get in. I’ll be outside guarding the door. You are free to find your way to healing.”
She looks from me to the men who have now removed all the clothes from the woman and are kissing her everywhere.
“Wait,” Kai says, as I reach for the door handle.
I freeze. Unsure if she’s pissed that I did this or if she needs something else.
“Milo took so much, but he also gave me the truth. I don’t regret knowing the truth even though it cost me so much,” she says.
I turn and look at her. Hating that she won’t tell me what Milo told her. What truths does she know but isn’t telling me? The key to winning back her love is knowing the truth, but I can’t find out if she won’t tell me.
“Don’t let him take everything from you. It doesn’t matter what he told you. You still have control over your own future. Your own heart. Anything he took from you, you can get back,” I say.
She doesn’t speak. She just stares into my soul as if she’s trying to remember why she loved me in the first place after everything I’ve done. She shouldn’t love me. I’m a cruel man.
“Enjoy your night, Kai.” I turn the doorknob even though it’s killing me to leave her alone. But she needs this, and I would give her the world to make her happy, watch her with another man if it was
what she needed to heal. I need her to be happy.
Her sudden plea shocks me. “Stay.”
12
KAI
STAY.
One word with so much power.
I realize immediately what Enzo did for me. He arranged the most romantic, erotic experience for me the second he realized I can’t make myself come anymore.
As soon as I saw the room, the cage around my heart melted just a little. And a tiny part of my heart lit up, reminding me Enzo can be a good man. But more importantly, he’s a man who loves me.
This one gesture isn’t enough to make me love him again. It’s not even enough to give him a second chance. My heart is still locked away, out of reach to him. And I want to keep it that way.
But that isn’t the part of me making decisions tonight.
I need to come.
I need a release.
I need it to feel good to heal. To move past what Milo did. I thought I was healing that night with Enzo after Milo raped me. But it was too soon. All that did was confuse my nightmares.
The only way I’m going to heal now is moving past what Milo did. But I can’t do it alone. As much as I wish I could get off with all the gadgets Enzo got for me, the hot men fucking the gorgeous woman, and the most romantic room I’ve ever been in, it’s not enough.
I need Enzo.
He’s the only man I’ve been with prior to Milo. Enzo knows my body better than I know it myself. What Milo did doesn’t get to define my future.
I do.
Enzo’s torn face, when I told him to stay, would have been enough to melt a normal woman’s heart. But my heart has been through more than most women’s have. I’ve been poor, abused, sold, stolen, raped, beaten. I’ve been in more dangerous situations than most people who join the army. I’ve suffered countless injuries.
Enzo caused half of the pain I experienced, but in the depths of my heart, I know I need him to heal. To come.