That is my fate.
I get up off my chair, every bone in my body throbbing. It only seems fair my heart is broken like every other part of my body. So many bones have been broken I’m not even sure how my body is staying together. My skin has been stitched, my bones put in casts, blood pumped into my body. But none of those things truly healed me. I’ll always be broken. And that’s how my heart feels, unable to be repaired.
I walk through the hallways of the yacht until I reach Kai’s door. I lean against the door, considering knocking. I just need to see her face. I need to breathe the same air as her. Because my time with her is running out. This could be the end of her existence in my life.
But I’ve been too selfish when it comes to her. So I don’t knock.
Instead, I slide down the floor and sit outside her door.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and pull up the security camera in her room. I’ve never used it before. But I need to see her now.
Kai is lying in the bed. Her eyes are closed, and her breathing is steady, but I don’t think she’s sleeping.
Langston is lying shirtless next to her, studying her to see if she’s asleep. After twenty minutes of watching her steady breathing, he decides she’s asleep. He rolls over and is out within minutes.
As soon as Langston starts snoring, Kai’s eyes pop open. She wasn’t asleep. She just didn’t want Langston worrying about her.
Oh, stingray.
She takes the scrunchie out of her hair and starts fidgeting with it.
She should have fallen for a man like Zeke. He was still involved in this world, but the second she became his, he would have given it all up for her. He could have gotten a normal job as an accountant, or engineer, or salesman. Anything to provide stability to her. He would have married her, had kids with her, protected her. Bought her a gorgeous house in the suburbs. Learned to make friends with the neighbors and take the kids to soccer practice. Even coached the little league team.
He would have been the husband and father I could never be.
Kai should have been with a man like Zeke. Instead, I took away any chance she had. But I will give it back to her. I promise.
Kai continues to fidget with the scrunchie, no doubt missing Zeke. I should have died that day instead of him. He would have gotten her away from Milo. She would have been safe.
And then I see it. The tiny heart I carved for her. It’s still on the scrunchie, not only that, but it’s what she is fidgeting and focusing on. The heart, not the scrunchie. She’s thinking of me.
Her eyes flitter up to the corner of the room, as if she knows there is a camera there, even though she can’t see it. Her eyes glaze to mine as I watch her.
My connection to her is still there even if hers is gone, but for a moment I think she feels it too. Our old connection that breaks through walls, time, and space to reach each other.
But she quickly breaks the connection. She slips the scrunchie back on her wrist and then closes her eyes, as sleep quickly takes her.
Sleep, my queen. You don’t have to worry anymore. I will protect you, even at my own expense.
I watch her breath change from easy to fast, and I immediately know what’s happening.
My hand reaches for the doorknob, but I stop.
If I go to her, I’ll make her nightmare worse.
Wake up, Langston.
Protect her.
There is nothing I can do but wait.
My hand rests on the wooden door, trying to feel all her pain. Hoping if I feel it, she won’t have to.
She tosses in bed, wrestling with an imaginary man.
It doesn’t take Langston long to stir. He grabs her and pulls her to his body, trying to warm her and bring her out of the nightmare.
But she doesn’t immediately stop her thrashing.