Me—she’s talking about me.
“All three failed. I could have forgiven them the first time. I did forgive them. I moved on with my life. I went back to school and started flirting with Enzo again. But when they failed twice, I was well beyond forgiveness.”
I squeeze my eyes shut to block out the pain.
I should blame myself for how Liesel turned out. I failed her. Sure, Enzo and Zeke should have known as well. We all should have protected her. But this is my biggest failure, and she’s about to rub it in my face.
I deserve every bit of pain I’m about to endure.
I should apologize for my failure.
I should beg for her forgiveness.
But I’ll do neither.
I don’t deserve compassion.
And there are no words to apologize for what I’ve done.
Liesel has stopped talking.
“Keep going. I deserve to know the pain I caused.”
“Why? So you can get off on it?” her head whips to me.
“No, so I can do penance.”
“Like you care at all. You’re going to kill me! You don’t care about my pain.”
“Then do it for the boy who once did.”
She blinks rapidly, looking at me.
“Enzo’s father raped me a second time. I won’t go into the gory details, but he would have raped me again and again…” her voice falters as she speaks.
“The first time, I was able to survive it. Somehow I went back to my normal life. After getting raped again, everything changed.”
She finishes her glass.
I pick up the bottle to pour her more, but she shakes her head.
Uneasily, I put the bottle back down in the sand.
“Six weeks later, I found out I was pregnant.”
Her words squeeze around my heart. I already knew she was pregnant, but it still hurts that she went through that alone.
“Did you tell anyone?” I ask, wondering if Enzo knew. Her mother, anyone? I clearly wasn’t worthy of the news. She didn’t think I would help her, protect her.
“No. The first person I told was a nurse at an abortion clinic.”
There is so much agony in her voice. So much outrage at what she had to endure in solitude.
She was raped—twice.
And everyone in her life who was supposed to protect her failed.
I failed.