And I have no idea if it was all a lie or a truth.
She said she forgave him, but could never forgive me.
She shouldn’t forgive either of us.
Just like I could never forgive her.
That’s what I have to remember when my feelings spike again, being so close with Liesel. I once thought she was the only woman for me. Now, I can’t think of a worse human being on the planet.
I stop running, my lungs finally burning, finally reminding me of pain instead of the ache I feel for Liesel after her bearing her story.
“She’s a liar, Langston. Don’t believe a word out of her mouth,” I tell myself as I try to catch my breath.
I put my hands over my head as I walk through the forest.
She’s a liar.
Never forget.
As I walk back, the story replays in my head, and I realize that I don’t think that was the story she intended to tell, it just spilled out. She didn’t have a choice but to speak the words, which makes me think the beginning was true. Everything with Enzo—true. It was the second part she changed to try and hurt me.
I won’t let her see my hurt.
My pain.
When I approach the fire where she still sits, I’m stone—emotionless.
“Ready to punish me?” she asks into the darkness. She can’t see me, but she can feel me, just like I can feel the icy daggers she willingly flings in my direction.
I’m silent as I walk back over to my backpack and pull another bottle of water out. I drink it as I sit on the ground, leaning against the log. I stare across the fire at her.
“Rape me just like he did. Ruin me. Make me hate you,” she says.
“You already hate me.”
She bites her lip. “Do it. Prove to me once and for all—you’re the monster I always thought you were.”
Provoking me isn’t going to work. We both know I’m a monster, but the only way I gain control is if this happens on my terms and not hers.
“Come here,” I say.
Her lip slips from her teeth. She thinks I’m calling her bluff, but there is no fear. Liesel isn’t afraid of anything. She’s lived through hell—there is nothing worse that could happen to her.
Liesel stands and walks to me. She won’t fight me, just like she didn’t fight Mr. Black. She thinks this is the best way to survive. Get me to rape her, and then she doesn’t have to have nightmares about what might happen, she’ll already know.
“Sit.”
Liesel sits face to face, her eyes turning yellow as the flames reflect off her pupils.
“I didn’t bring a blanket. Keep me warm tonight.”
She blinks rapidly, her ears straining like she thinks I misspoke.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
I lie down on the dirt. I’m not the least bit cold, not after I ran a mile. The fire alone would keep me plenty warm.