Or rather one client.
He came in the dark when we were asleep and made us strip. When Knox cried, she hit him and said either we do as instructed or we wouldn’t go to school.
So we did.
We removed our clothes and stood in the dark as that man was making those sounds of masturbation.
Of course, I was clueless to that fact back then. I was so naive that I told Knox maybe he was in pain. My brother told me to shut up because he understood what was going on before I could. His innocence was stolen away before mine.
Then, that client disappeared, and that was that. I thought it was all over.
It wasn’t.
One night, I was asleep and I felt something wet and hot on my clothes.
In the morning, I went crying to Mum, begging her to help me. She just washed me and told me to stay still and not cry. If I cried, she’d throw me and Knox out for that man to take with him.
I stopped crying that day.
I haven’t cried since.
The second night, his filth was all over my bare skin.
Then it was on my face.
I didn’t ever speak during those nights. I stayed still until he finished. I stayed still until I felt his hot liquid, because that meant it was over.
Knox found me one night when the man was sneaking over to where I slept. He hit him on the head, took me by the hand, and we ran.
We didn’t stop running in the streets.
We were running so neither Mum nor that man nor the people who worked with her could find us.
I didn’t cry, though, not even when Elsa’s mother trapped us in her basement. At least she didn’t touch us, and when she did, it was once when she cut our knees so we resembled her son.
At least, in that basement, we were away from Mum and that man.
But you know what? I might have been away, but I was never far.
The man and his hot liquid kind of lived with me. I dreamt about it, had nightmares about it, and in every one of them, I couldn’t move.
I stayed completely still, just like Mum ordered me to.
All I could think about was his voice when he spoke to Mum and gave her money.
I always peeked out of my room, trying to see his face. Mum smiled like the fucking druggie she was whenever she saw him. He was an important man and he didn’t speak like the people in Birmingham. He spoke like an actor.
After Ethan took me and Knox in, I made it my mission to find that man from my nightmares. The man who perched on my chest every time I slept.
I searched for him everywhere, but I was too clueless and too young; I didn’t know what I was doing.
I also had no idea what I would tell him if I found him. All I knew was that I needed to see him, and when I did, I’d figure out what I would tell him.
I did find him.
And I did know what I wanted to tell him.
Only it wasn’t words. The moment I saw him, I knew exactly what I’d do to him.