He was certain that he was too late.
Chapter Nine
Ella sat in the carriage across from Luke and Tabbie, while Matthew was next to her. She’d been careful not to speak a word to him this evening. Not because he didn’t deserve to be ignored, he most certainly did, but because she didn’t know what to say the Duke of Pembroke. She should have known when he introduced her to an earl and a duke that they wouldn’t be his associates if he wasn’t also titled. She was a fool. Always the fool.
He’d lied to her at least by omission. No wonder he hadn’t taken her offer to be his mistress. He didn’t need a vagabond from the street. What she’d felt before was only amplified. She wasn’t good enough for him. He’d never want a woman like her. Every beautiful woman in London was his for the choosing.
And here she’d gone and fallen in love with him.
She knew it was true. Because it was her fate to love men who didn’t give a fig about her in return. Which was why she had to make her own future.
Tabbie cleared her throat. “What a beautiful evening,” she said in the silence that seemed to fill the carriage.
“Yes,” Ella replied automatically. “It was wonderful.”
“And so many gentlemen seemed smitten with you.” Tabbie was probing.
Ella held back a sigh. She’d been feigning enthusiasm all evening and she didn’t have a bit left. “Did they?” She parted the curtain, looking out onto the dark London streets.
“Should we set up another gathering? A luncheon perhaps or an outing?” Tabbie tried again.
Ella closed her eyes for a moment. She was too tired to even think about how to retract herself from something like that. “What do you say we discuss it tomorrow while we tour the orphanage?”
“Excellent idea.” Tabbie nodded and Ella did sigh this time. Just a little, in relief. “I’ll bring my children as well. They love visiting, if you don’t mind. Henry is four and Olivia is two.”
“I can’t wait to meet them,” Ella said, feeling actual enthusiasm for the first time since she’d exited the carriage some hours ago.
Ella watched Tabbie run a hand over her stomach, Luke’s eyes following the gesture. She was pregnant. Joy and a touch of jealousy made her lips press together as her eyes teared. How lucky they were to have such a beautiful family.
For just a moment, she allowed her mind to wander down a path that was best left alone. A vision of herself, surrounded by beautiful children. And by her side, Matthew sat with a little dark-haired boy in his lap.
She closed her eyes. She was indeed a fool.
“Should we pick you up? Perhaps one o’clock?”
“No need,” Matthew’s deep voice reverberated next to her. “We’ll meet you there.”
She didn’t look at Matthew as he spoke, Tabbie’s nod of acknowledgement was enough to end the conversation.
The carriage soon pulled up to their inn and after a farewell to Tabbie and Luke, Matthew handed her down.
With her arm tucked in his, she attempted to keep some distance between them. She was angry and she’d been made a fool. Not that it mattered. It was his life she had entered. That was the issue, she supposed, being the one in need. Nothing was to her specifications.
Making their way up the stairs, Matthew opened the door to his rooms, they weren’t hers of course. As he closed it again, his other hand came to her waist. “Ella,” he whispered sounding pained.
She didn’t know why he would be hurting. She’d never been anything other than truthful with him. “Yes?” She stepped away even as she spoke. He was her employer. He stood between her and the street. If she’d needed a reminder that their relationship was a tenuous one that he was firmly in charge of, she’d gotten it.
“Please don’t be angry.”
His voice was soft but it held a note of pleading. She didn’t look at him still, her eyes averted. “I’m not angry.” She took another step back. “I appreciate your generosity and your employment. The opportunities you have provided me have saved me from—”
“Ella,” he interrupted. “After Sarah, I didn’t trust you with the knowledge. I didn’t know that you would never take advantage.”
She sniffed. Of course he interrupted her. He was a duke after all. They were entitled to such demands. Never mind that his lie had broken her heart a little. “You owe me no explanation. I am here by your grace, Your Grace.” Another step back. “It was a reminder that was well timed and—”
He interrupted again. “What the bloody hell does that mean?”
Her eyes snapped to his. “I am in your employ.” He winced, and she almost didn’t finish but she straightened her spine and raised her chin. “You owe me no explanations and I am grateful to be here, Your Grace.”