The helpless gesture was new, as was the air of defeat that hung about him. “I’ve been a wild young man. There’s no point lying about that.”
“No.”
For the first time, genuine, if bleak humor lightened his expression. “Hamish and his blasted big mouth.”
“Yes.”
“But during this last year, I’ve just been going through the motions. Playing the libertine has become more work than it’s worth. I’ve felt aimless and useless and lost.”
“I’m sorry.” She knew without him telling her, that he’d never confided his unhappiness to anyone else.
“There I was, sick of the world, sick of myself, and most of all, sick of my deuced self-pity, when I turned up at Achnasheen to spend Christmas with people I’ve known most of my life.”
“No high expectations that anything special might happen?”
“None at all. But then I saw ye. I dinnae think I’d ever seen you before. No’ properly.”
“What…what did you see?” she dared to ask, inching even closer.
His faint smile warmed in a way that made her heart jump around like a grasshopper. A powerful surge of hope stole her breath. After all the confusion and pain, she and Brody might yet have their happy ending.
“An interesting lassie, who didn’t seem too impressed with me, a sure sign of intelligence. A lassie who hovered in the shadows while the rest of her family monopolized the sunlight. A sweet, pure-hearted lassie with no idea how beautiful she is.”
“Oh, dear,” Elspeth said, her voice catching on a husky note. “No wonder the Edinburgh ladies were mad for you. You shouldn’t say such things if you don’t mean them.”
Irritation at her continuing lack of faith tightened his features. “Damn it, I do mean them.” He sucked in a breath and spoke more calmly. “But that day, what I saw clearest of all was that I was nowhere near worthy of this exquisite creature.”
She swallowed to shift the jagged boulder of emotion blocking her throat. “That didn’t stop you from kissing me.”
He shrugged. “I’m only human, my darling.”
The endearment threatened to undo her. Surely now he’d kiss her again. Instead he turned back to his horse and began to unbuckle the bag he’d just attached to his saddle.
“What are you doing?” she asked in bewilderment.
“I’m no’ going anywhere today.” Brody set the valise on the ground.
She swallowed again. “I’m glad.”
“Are you?” he said, still facing toward his horse.
“Yes.” She sucked in an uneven breath and steeled herself for his answer to the question she must ask. Although after what he’d just said, she wasn’t as nervous as she had been. “Brody, leave your saddle and horse and straps alone for a moment and look at me.”
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With slow deliberation, he did, his green eyes so dark and deep that they belied his claim to being a shallow man. But of course, he wasn’t half as shallow as he pretended to be. He never had been.
“Please stop skirting around the truth. Tell me why you proposed.”
She expected him to revert once more to avoidance or annoyance, but instead his shoulders slumped. Brave, shining Brody Girvan looked vulnerable as she’d never before seen him.
“Och, mo chridhe,” he said, in that beautiful baritone brogue that always made her want to melt into a puddle of delight at his feet. “That’s easy to answer. I asked ye to marry me because I love you.”
Chapter 17
Brody watched shock flood Elspeth’s features, shock and disbelief. No immediate pleasure, he was devastated to note. He could see that his declaration didn’t alter her feelings for him.
With a grim precision of movement, he went back to unsaddling Perseus. This frustrating, painful conversation meant he’d lost any chance of reaching the next inn before the winter night fell. While he might be desperate to get away, he wasn’t mean enough to inflict a freezing journey on Perseus.