I thrust my cell phone into the palm of her hand. “Go to the cab contact in my phone, dial it, and call one for you and Jo-Beth back to wherever you’re going next, down the coast, wherever.”
“That’s expensive,” she balked, and then more pointedly, “I’d rather stay here.”
Jesus, why couldn’t she just go?
Digging into my pocket, I pulled out my wallet, got five twenties and shoved them into Phoebe’s palm, on top of the cell.
“Take these,” I said. “Go.”
Okay, judging by her face, the money had crossed a line. Her jaw set and her eyes squinted with disgust.
“I don’t need your fucking money, Carter.” Her voice was rising, and I knew that Henry would emerge any second. “I can’t be bought off. I know you are terrified by even the vague notion of letting somebody else in, that allowing another person to support you is petrifying, but two minds are better than one. I can be useful. I can help. If Meghan is here—”
“She is.”
“If she is, then use me. We’ll get out of town together, or we’ll go to the police.”
That was it. If Phoebe wasn’t getting the point, then I’d need to push her away. Fine, so be it. The words were like needles in my mouth, but I’d do what it took to get Phoebe to listen, or at least, to be so mad that she ditched. This wasn’t the man I wanted to be, but it was who Meghan had forced me to become.
“Henry comes first,” I said coldly. “You’re nobody, you’re a stranger who walked into town a couple of days ago. Phoebe, it’s been fun, really, but now you need to go, because if it comes to choosing between you and him, I will choose him every time, no questions asked. You don’t believe me that she’s coming? Okay, stick around and find out. But I won’t be here when she makes her presence known.”
Phoebe’s mouth fell open. “Who the fuck do you think you are, Carter? Obviously your son comes first, you don’t need to tell me that. I’m not Meghan — I’m not a monster. I understand that Henry is number one, but what I don’t understand is why you’re pretending like we’re strangers. Just last night you said otherwise. If you’re gonna lie, at least stick to the same lie. As someone once said, if you stick with the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
She was right. I had to lie better, more thoroughly, because Henry had set down his toothbrush and was about to come out of the bathroom.
“Truth?” I said. “The truth is that I just said what I had to in order to fuck you. And it worked, and now I’m over you. So get lost.”
Jesus, I’d been hurt by my own words before, but having to say that to Phoebe’s face… the pain was worse than I’d experienced in a long time. I felt a future of possibility, one I hadn’t even realized I’d been covertly imaging, vanish before my eyes. Once again, I’d ruined a good thing. And sure, it was in the name of keeping her safe, but what about the aftershocks on my heart?
Tears were welling in her eyes, thick droplets which she was bravely trying to choke back.
“That’s who you wanna be?” she whispered. “A guy controlled by fear? All right. Then I’ll leave you alone. Consider me gone. Just know that you can’t live a life like this. At some point, you need to let love in, Carter.”
With that, Phoebe whirled on her toes and stormed out the front door, slamming it shut behind her. Where she would go next, I had no idea. Hopefully far, far away from here.
I was certain that I would never see her again, but I didn’t have time to process the implications of that, because Henry was opening the door and shaking my leg with his hand.
“Daddy?”
“Yes?” I sighed.
“Where’d Phoebe go?”
I shook my head, too busy formulating a plan. “I have no idea, kid. Let’s get you dressed. We need to leave, and fast.”
CHAPTER 22
Phoebe
AS I RACED down the steps from Carter’s house to my Airstream, my heart pounded faster than my feet on the pavement.
Wait, did I say my Airstream? I meant Carter’s. Damn, after only two days of living here, it’d already come to feel like home. Now, of course, that was all over and done for. I’d have to extricate myself from Rough and Ready, one piece of my soul at a time. Without being aware of it, I’d woven myself into the fabric of this town and several of its citizens.
Didn’t he realize that at some point, he’d need to go to some fucking therapy for this, and maybe figure out how to stop running? He was unable to assess anything with a clear mind. She clouded his vision at every turn. Every answer he came up with for the problem was warped with roundabout thinking and general animal reactions.