"Oh, Sabrina lives there," she said.
"Great. I'm going now. See you."
"Okay, have a good night!"
I turned and walked down the street. I vaguely remember how I'd walked there, but I wanted to get out of sight as fast as I could. I saw Orchid Plaza and cut a quick left. No matter where I walked from here, I'd be fine.
There were several restaurants on the second floor. I took the escalator past a place with a sushi conveyor belt and beelined for a Korean restaurant called Corea Corea. There were two men trying to decide if they wanted to eat there. I waved to the man behind the counter.
"I noticed that you guys close at 9. It's already 8:30. Is it too late to order bibimbap?"
"Yeah, it's okay."
"Second question: do you guys have a bathroom?"
"There's one next to the lift."
"Cool. Can I order bibimbap and come right back?"
"Yes. But pay first."
"Sure."
He ran my card through and gave me a number to place on my table. I ran for the bathroom and finally relaxed. When I walked back to the restaurant, I saw him putting my food on the table. He bowed to me as he took my number. I bowed back.
When I sat down, I saw that the miso soup was covered. I uncovered it and smelled the delicious scent wafting out of it. It had little bits of leaves inside. I ate it first.
The sauce that goes with bibimbap was red and spicy. I threw all of it in. My first bite of bibimbap was scorching hot in temperature and in flavor. I regretted using all of the sauce and understood in that moment why they served sauce on the side. I went to their water cooler to try to put out the fire in my mouth. It helped, but I kept eating it. It was cheaper and a bigger portion than the one that I'd gotten at Goong a week ago. The rice was scorched a little bit on the bottom, just the way I liked it. There were tears coming down my face from how spicy it was, but I just stood up and got more napkins.
The two men who'd looked at the menu as I came in were sitting behind me. There was a young couple directly in front of me who were sharing a bowl of bibimbap and drinking two bottles of Lipton Tea. I knew that the restaurant was closing, but I still took my sweet time for the minutes I had left.
When I left the restaurant, I was still hungry. So I went to Target for the first time since I'd stepped foot in Cairns.
Clothing was everywhere. In American Target, apparel was a pretty big section. I'd gone through a phase where I'd only shopped for dresses at Target. But here, it was on another level. They still had toy and electronics sections and most of the things that you'd expect in a Target, but the grocery part didn't really exist. In the movie section, they had snacks like candy and popcor
n to go along with movie night. I got two off-brand bags of candy and checked out. The line at the registers was backed up and there was a woman on the phone trying to figure out how to run a gift card, but I got out simply enough. Then I walked home.
I sat down and ate my candy snakes as dessert. I knew that the sugar would keep me up at night.
I looked at my phone. Nothing from Massimo. I swallowed a big lump of disappointment. What had I expected? I felt tears threatening to spill over in my eyes. He'd hit it and quit it. He never promised me tomorrow. The way that I was feeling was entirely my fault. He hadn't given me any empty promises. I'd built up an idea of what we could be, which was my responsibility. I'd let myself cry tonight. Tomorrow, I'd put those dreams back on a dusty shelf where I wouldn't think about them on a daily basis.
He hadn't had the decency to discuss his real identity with me, which meant that he never intended for our dalliance or whatever he wanted to call it to go further than a few perfect moments together. I should remember it for what it was, and not what I'd hoped it would become.
Clubbing
Three days later, my phone buzzed.
We're going out tonight. You're coming with.
I looked at my freezer, which had a pint of Chunky Monkey with my name on it.
Sure.
I knew that if I fought it, I'd have someone right here, ready and willing to force me to go out. I could always go home early and be lame. So I slapped on a small amount of eyeliner and lipstick and called it a day. I didn't have the energy for anything else.
I really wanted to be alone tonight, but I jumped into her car when she came home.
"You look like shit," Jessica said. "You obviously need to go out tonight. You can tell me all about it."