I let the words and conversation flow around me as I got really drunk very quickly. The beer was meant to be drunk over the course of a night, not just in a matter of minutes. I just felt like the lights were going in and out.
"Are you okay?" Jessica asked, a slight look of concern on her face. "You're a little flushed."
"I'm okay," I told her, although I wasn't the most stable person in the world. "I just wish that I'd had a good night of sleep last night."
"Ugh," she said. "I know. Work stress has been keeping me up lately." As she launched into a long story of what she'd done that week, I let the conversation go again. Two more men were sitting down at our table. Despite the fact that I didn't know them, one of them dropped an arm around me and started talking in my ear. Because we were in a crowded and loud place, I didn't know what he was saying.
It wasn't cheating to let him keep his arm around me. He started pulling me into his body. Jessica looked at us, a flicker of concern in her eyes.
"You're sure you're okay, sweetie?"
"Fine," I growled. "You don't have to keep asking me."
"She says she's fine," the anonymous man with his arms around me said. He kept talking to me, but I was so out of it that I thought that he gave up. He walked away eventually, leaving me with my giant thing of beer. I just kept watching other people do things, which made me happy. Being part of the crowd but not part of it was fine for my mood tonight.
I drank the rest of the giant thing of beer. When I got to the end, I had to use two hands to control it as I got the last of it. Then I went to the bar to get more, using the wall to steady myself as I escaped wandering hands.
I didn't know how much beer I had, only that my body wanted me to go to sleep. The loud dance music made me want to get up, but at this point my coordination was not the best. The guy who'd been holding me before was dancing in front of me with a platinum blonde who had hair down to her waist. Her breasts were a work of art. She chased him off with a laugh and continued dancing on her own. She was pretty happy by herself. I wanted to be as carefree as she seemed to be.
"We're going home, sweetie." Jessica touched my arm. "Do you want some water?"
"I'm fine," I slurred.
"We're taking you home."
Her boyfriend took one arm and Jessica took the other as we made our way through the still packed dance floor. Her boyfriend peeled several guys' hands off of my ass as we shuffled through the horde of people.
And then I was using the railing to help me downstairs. Finally, we got into clear, open air.
"Let's eat kebabs."
Next to the club, there was a schwarma stand. We all stood in line and ate our lamb kebabs. I didn't even eat them, but they tasted absolutely delicious. I spilled barbecue sauce on my dress, dabbed at it with a napkin, and didn't care.
The fresh air and kebab made me feel a lot less drunk. I couldn't remember what I had for dinner, but the kebab was mopping up a lot of the alcohol. I just wished that I could share this night with a hot, not gross, guy.
Jessica hailed a cab and got us home. I made a mental note about paying her part of the fare when I got home.
I woke up the next morning with my shoes off but everything else on. I was on top of my comforter with a trashcan next to me. I was glad, because my throat opened up as my stomach emptied last night's bad decisions. I got most of it into the trashcan, but some of it landed elsewhere.
I felt terrible.
My head felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls. I needed mouthwash, but in order to use it, I had to get out of bed. I stared at it for a while before getting out of bed. I pulled in a huge mouthful before rushing to the bathroom to spit it out.
I looked bad. Really bad. My hair was a nightmarish mess while my makeup had smeared in the least attractive way possible.
And my heart didn't feel any less broken than it had at the beginning of last night.
"Sweetie, are you up?" Jessica's voice came through my door.
"Yeah," I said, even though I still wanted to be alone.
"I made coffee," she said as she came in the door. "Oh."
She was kind enough not to comment on my hideousness, but I needed makeup remover and a shower. Stat.
"Let's get some coffee in you, babe."
I accepted the mug from her and started drinking it. Jessica preferred to have her coffee blacker than black, which meant that it was thick and very bitter. I liked sugary coffee, like Fraps, but I wouldn't say no to some coffee to make myself feel human again.