Who was she kidding, that this would be easy? That they could forget it all and continue as if nothing happened? It was unsettling, being with him alone. In her apartment. She was tempted to jump him, tear his clothes off and have her wicked way with him for the rest of the afternoon.
Yeah, this wasn’t easy.
“You shouldn’t be alone.” His voice was firm, his jaw set in grim determination.
“What, you want to have a personal bodyguard following me until we find Ginger? I don’t think so. How am I going to explain that to my boss? ‘Oh, don’t mind him, he’s just some guy following me until my strung out sister is found and her mob boss boyfriend is in jail’.” Janelle shook her head.
“Billy Diaz isn’t part of the mob.”
“Oh, whatever.” She threw her hands in the air, frustrated. “I can’t believe this is happening, you know? I’m trying to lead a normal life, working hard, trying to get ahead and Ginger still comes along and screws everything up. This is the way it’s been my entire life.”
Nate frowned. “I can’t let you wander around alone, knowing that guy is probably following you.” Running a hand along his jaw, he looked away. “Maybe I could put a discreet tail on you. Have someone watch your work, follow your car, keep watch here at your apartment.”
She didn’t want that, though the more he talked, the more frightened she became. This was serious. The man who spoke to her had been a genuine threat. Not some off-chance loser looking to spook her.
“I can’t have my work know about this.” She swallowed hard. The idea of Marnie or anyone else at the Women’s Cancer Center discovering the truth about her sister, about her own past, was enough to freak her out. “The minute my boss finds out I’m a former stripper with a drug user for a sister, I’m sure she’d fire me.”
“She couldn’t fire you, it would be discrimination.” Ah, the voice of logic. She found it rather irritating.
“Well then, she’d make up some other excuse, but I’d know the truth. She’d never look at me the same again. No one would. They respect me there. I don’t want to lose that.” It was important to her, their respect. She’d never been respected by anyone her entire life.
Nate watched her with those intense dark brown eyes, his gaze wandering over her face, dipping below her neck to linger on her chest. Her skin warmed at his blatant perusal, remembering the equally blatant and carnal way he touched her last night and her nipples hardened.
“Your job is important to you, isn’t it,” he finally said, his gaze flicking back up to meet hers once more.
Nodding slowly, she noticed the subtle shift in the air. This should not be happening. She shouldn’t have called him. She should’ve called the police like a normal person and made a standard report.
Instead, she had the man she wanted more than anything standing in the middle of her living room, undressing her with his eyes. Looking as if he wanted to devour her where she stood.
Ah God, she should hate herself for this, but she wanted it too.
“My job is very important to me.” She cleared her throat, ashamed of the tremor in her voice. Damn it, she did not want to appear vulnerable.
Or turned on. No, no, that was a big mistake.
“Why do you think no one has ever respected you?” He took another step closer and she could smell him. Fresh and clean, like soap with a hint of heated, spicy man. She wanted to close her eyes and inhale deeply, savor it.
“I don’t know.” She lifted her chin. He was getting under her skin, looking at her with tenderness in his eyes, asking questions no one usually bothered asking. “Growing up, my life wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Quite frankly, it sucked.”
“I know.” He paused and her eyes widened, wondering exactly how much he did know. “Remember? I did a little investigating once I discovered exactly who you were.”
“Of course, you did.” How could she forget? So he knew all of it. The non-existent father and the mother never around, who’d been arrested a couple of times and didn’t know how to support her girls. The trouble her sister had gotten into from junior high on.
“Did you know I started working at the age of fifteen so I could make sure there was enough money to buy food? How I forged my mom’s signature and got a worker’s permit? Did you find out about our mom ditching us when we were sixteen and how Ginger dropped out of high school?” She may as well throw those bits of her past out there, instead of being ashamed of her life.
“You’ve taken care of yourself for a long time.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he watched her, his penetrating gaze seeming to see right through her. “You’ve had a lot of responsibility since you were too young to even realize it.”
Janelle waved a hand in front of her face, suddenly uncomfortable. “That was in the past. I’m over it.”
“I don’t think you are.” This time he reached out and made connection with her arm, slowly stroking his fingers along her skin, causing gooseflesh to follow in his wake. “I think you’re resentful of your sister and your mother. The things you’ve had to do for them your entire life have always gone unappreciated.”
“I haven’t talked to my mother in three years. I have no idea where she is.” She shivered, wishing he would take his hand off her.
Wishing he would touch her more, everywhere.
“And that bothers you, doesn’t it? You might try to act tough and pretend you don’t care, but you do. You worry about her. You worry about Ginger too, though she drives you crazy.”
He was one hundred percent right. She told herself she needed to be tough, to not care about them, since they clearly didn’t care about her yet she still did. She always did. Her mother told her when she was five she was a little mama, a nurturer. At that age, it had made her proud. When she grew into a teenager, the nickname “little mama” only pissed her off.