“What do you mean?”
“They didn’t exactly drag me to their apartment above Kinks kicking and screaming. I went willingly. If I hadn’t, they never would’ve had the chance to pull this stupid stunt.”
“So now you think you’re being punished for spending time with the three of them?”
Lydia bit her lip and looked down at the black ball of fur in her lap. “Maybe. I feel like I’m getting what I deserve here, ya know?”
Roni came back into the room carrying three black cherry coolers. “Please don’t tell me you’re blaming yourself for this, because that’ll just piss me off.” She handed Lydia and Jeannette a cooler then sat in the chair across from them. “There’s also chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer. I figured we might need it later.”
Lydia unscrewed the cap and took a long drink before replying. “You have to admit it’s pretty ironic. I spend a wild night with three men and what happens? They turn out to be the men I work for! I can’t help but feel like I’m being punished for my transgressions.”
“That’s a load of crap. You’re still letting your mother get to you.” Roni placed her cooler on the coffee table and leaned forward. “I want you to know that I talked to Dane at length. I’d love to castrate the ass. What he and those other two idiots did was wrong, no question. But after he explained, I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t truly his intention to hurt you. I think he saw a chance to finally be with you and he jumped at it. Does that make it right? Hell no, but it does explain his actions a bit better. Also, try to remember that he didn’t lure you to Kinks, Lydia. You went willingly. You wanted to spend the night with a stranger, remember?”
“Yes, but they weren’t strangers, were they? They should have said so when I explained my reason for being there to begin with.”
Roni’s eyes widened. “You told them about the bet?”
“Not exactly. Apollo, er, Dane wanted to know why I was there. I told him I’d fantasized about having sex with a stranger. I was honest. He wasn’t.”
“Maybe he was just trying to give you what you wanted,” Jeanette said. “You know, letting you believe they were strangers.”
“I don’t know. Maybe,” Lydia grumbled. “Still, he should’ve told me.”
“Yeah, he should have.” Roni sighed. “I’m sorry, hon.”
Now Lydia felt bad. “It wasn’t all their fault. I shouldn’t have been there to start with. I shouldn’t have—”
“Stop flogging yourself,” Roni ordered. “Your mother used her beliefs to twist you up inside and that’s where a lot of this self-recrimination is coming from. Stop trying to be the daughter she always wanted and start being your own person. She moved on with her life and left you behind, Lydia. You didn’t leave her.”
Lydia knew in her heart, Roni spoke the truth. “You’re right. It’s just…I’ve never felt so much pleasure. My lord, sex has never been like that for me. Never. Even now I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Dane was so gentle, but forceful too. How messed up is it that I can’t stop thinking about him? I should hate him for what he did, but instead I want him again. What sort of woman am I?”
“Normal. Tell me this. Since it was that good, then what’s the real reason for the tears? Is it because you’re starting to fall for Dane?”
Lydia shrugged. Roni had it right; Lydia was falling for
him. She suspected she’d started falling the minute she’d interviewed for the position as his paralegal.
Roni’s lips quirked. “I’ve noticed you’ve not mentioned how great it was with Mac or Trent.”
“They’re all great lovers, but I guess it’s Dane’s deceit that’s left me feeling so betrayed.” Lydia took another drink of her cooler and looked over at Jeanette. “I really hate when she goes into psychology mode on me.”
Jeanette laughed. “Don’t we all.”
Roni flipped her hair behind her back and smiled. “It’s all part of my charm.”
“You aren’t nearly as charming as you’d like people to think, Roni,” Jeanette said. “Remember that time you spit on Jimmy Linedecker in third grade?”
“That little dweeb kept pulling my ponytail. He deserved worse.”
They all three laughed. After several Jimmy stories and a few more coolers, Lydia looked at the two women and tears sprang to her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Thanks for coming over. I really needed the company.”
Jeanette patted her knee and Roni waved a hand in the air. “You’d do the same for us, honey.”
It was true. They’d always looked out for each other. Jeanette and Roni were the sisters she’d never had. Lydia moved Socrates onto Jeanette’s lap and stood. She planted her hands on her hips. “Okay, who wants ice cream?”
They passed the rest of the evening finishing off a half-gallon of ice cream and a bag of cheesy chips while they watched a horror movie marathon on cable. At three in the morning, she’d had to usher them out the door. They’d only agreed to leave because she’d sworn she was okay.
It wasn’t until she slipped into bed with the lights off, finally alone with her thoughts, that Lydia realized Roni had been right. She’d been hurt because she cared. It hadn’t just been sex for her. It’d been much more. And for some crazy reason she wasn’t nearly as upset with Mac or Trent. It was the thought of Dane betraying her that had shards of glass cutting at her heart.