Once more, Marquetta’s body shook with chills, yanking her out of her depressing trip down memory lane. God, she hated getting sick. It seemed like it always took her forever to get over it. She quickly stripped off her clothes and stepped into the hot shower in the hopes it would warm her. She washed and conditioned her hair, wondering why she didn’t just chop off the time-consuming stuff. Of course, she already knew the reason. Her mom had always kept her hair long. One of her fondest memories was watching her comb it out at night before bed. After her mother died, the victim of a drunk driver, Marquetta had begun to let her hair grow. Now it reached her waist.
As she turned off the shower and toweled dry, she realized she felt a little bit less shitty. Still sick, but at least she wasn’t freezing half to death. She started to slip into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, when she heard a noise coming from the living room. Fear crept up her spine as she left the bedroom to investigate. She spotted her oldest brother, Axel, sprawled out on her couch, channel surfing. He wore an old pair of ripped blue jeans and a simple white T-shirt that had paint stains on it. His long midnight-black hair was tied back, and an ornery smile curved his mouth. Judging by his messy appearance, Marquetta had to assume that Axel didn’t have a date lined up tonight.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Would it kill you to knock?”
Axel’s brow kicked up in amusement. “Would it kill you to call me and tell me you’re all right?”
She rolled her eyes as if annoyed with him. In truth, she was glad for the company. She didn’t feel like being alone tonight. Marquetta walked over to the couch and sat next to him. “I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself.” How many times had she said those same words? A billion? Maybe one day it would actually sink in, but she wasn’t holding her breath.
Axel regarded her with the same scrutiny as he would a damaged quarter panel on a car. When he frowned, Marquetta knew he’d spotted her pale, drawn cheekbones and the hollowness of her eyes. She hadn’t been taking care of herself, and that always served to piss off her brother.
“You haven’t been eating, and I’m betting you aren’t getting much sleep either.” He sighed. “Why do you do this to yourself?”
She thought about lying to him, but she was just no good at lying to Axel. He always saw right through her. “Lately it’s been…difficult.”
He took hold of her chin, not letting her retreat. “Dreams about the baby again?”
Marquetta nodded, and her gaze darted away. She didn’t want to talk about the baby she’d lost. It was too painful. It would be exactly two years tomorrow, but it felt as if it were yesterday. It was why she ate only when her stomach protested enough to actually get her attention. She was starting to sink into a depression again, but she could never tell Axel. He had enough to worry about without taking care of her too.
“You need to let go of the past, sis. It’s time, don’t you think?”
This was the last thing she needed right now, an inquisition. She was barely holding on by a thread as it was. “Believe it or not, I don’t need your help with this.” When he started to protest, she sat up straighter and bit out, “Not everything needs to be your concern. I’m fine. Really.”
Axel narrowed his gaze as if debating the merits of arguing with her. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d gone a few rounds. After a beat of silence, he held out his arms and said, “Come here.”
Marquetta tried to ignore him, but she simply didn’t have the energy. It seemed she’d used up her last bit of oomph. She leaned toward him and let his strength and security surround her. She shut her eyes against the tears threatening to spill over and whispered, “I’m sorry you’re always having to take care of me.”
“That’s what big brothers are for,” he said as he patted her on the back. “How about I order Chinese?”
She pulled back and smiled up at him. “Sounds good to me.”
At once, Axel took out his cell phone and placed an order. When the food arrived, the smell of sweet and sour pork and egg drop soup had her stomach growling. “I must be feeling better, because this food has me practically drooling.”
Never in her life had she tasted anything so heavenly. But she felt silly, like a dumb kid who couldn’t take care of herself and had to have big brother make it all better for her.
Once she’d had her fill, she cleaned up the mess and came back into the room to find Axel staring at her with that familiar concern in his eyes. God, she hated that he worried so much about her and Gavin. He deserved to be free of the two of them so he could live in peace. She felt even worse knowing he’d probably cancelled a date to be here with her.
“I’m glad you came over,” she said, “but it’s Saturday, and I’m sure you could’ve had a hot date or something if you weren’t always taking care of me. You shouldn’t put your life on hold like this.”
He snorted. “Lately, all my hot dates are with Netflix.” Axel stared at her for a moment before saying, “We’re family, Marquetta, and I’ll always be here if you need me.”
She got choked up at his endearing words. He would forever and always be the eldest, and he took those responsibilities seriously. Sometimes his protectiveness irked, even if he did mean well. Marquetta thought of her earlier sexy visitor and wondered if she should mention it to Axel, but thought better of it. If he knew, he’d be full of questions and probably end up setting up a security perimeter around her house, for crying out loud. No, Axel definitely didn’t need to know about Jensen.
She grasped her brother’s hands in her own. “I always know you have my back, and I love you to pieces for it, but I can handle this. I’ll be okay.”
“You’re breaking my heart,” he replied, his voice just a little too unsteady for Marquetta’s peace of mind.
She shrugged. “Every girl gets her heart stepped on at least once.”
His face hardened. “I’d still like to kick Sheldon’s ass for making you hurt this way.”
She shook her head and got up, bringing him with her. “No, and that’s enough about it. I can handle my own demons.” When he only stared at her as if still unconvinced he wasn’t needed, Marquetta said, “Trust me to deal with this myself, Axel. Please.”
He sighed. “Fine, but you can talk to me anytime. I’m always here. You aren’t alone in this, okay?”
Relief swamped her. She was only too happy that she wouldn’t have to go into detail about her feelings. “Of course.” She hugged him, letting herself sink into the familiar feel of his strong arms as they came around her once again.
“You’ll always be my baby sister,” he murmured.