Catherine wanted to lash out at someone, and who better than the man who’d unwittingly helped keep her mother’s secret? Maybe it hadn’t been his secret to reveal, but he’d known all these years and he’d never said a word. “Fine. She didn’t actually confide in you, but you knew the truth, Doctor Cabel. Why didn’t you ever ask my parents about me?” She threw her hands in the air. “I mean, didn’t you think I had a right to know the truth?”
Her harsh words caused the doctor’s cheeks to turn scarlet. “I didn’t know all the facts. At first, I wasn’t even sure she was keeping you in the dark. In fact, I could’ve easily brought it up to you on one of the many occasions you visited my office. Without even realizing it, I could’ve exposed your parents so easily.” He shook his head and frowned. “They got lucky there.”
Catherine’s anger took on momentum at the doctor’s statement. “Lucky? She kept this from me my entire life and you call that lucky?”
He held up a hand as if to stop the runaway train of her fury from running him over. “That’s not what I meant. Look, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this. All I can think is that she hadn’t figured out the right way to tell you.”
Catherine shot to her feet and strode toward the fireplace. She stared at the family portrait that hung above it, feeling the stab of betrayal clear through to her heart. Her smiling mama with the pretty green eyes and fair complexion seemed to mock her. Her father, so strong and trustworthy, stood behind them, every inch the proud husband and father. Catherine let out a breath she hadn’t even been aware she was holding.
“I could think of any number of ways,” Catherine gritted out as she clenched her eyes tight, as if by doing so she could lock out the pain. “Like, ‘Hey, you’re adopted, pass the peas.’ ” Catherine turned and saw the misery on the doctor’s face. She really did feel bad for him. It wasn’t his fault her mother had lied, Catherine reminded herself. As she stared at him, however, something else struck her. “You’re only telling me now because the doctor–patient confidentiality clause ended with her death, aren’t you?”
He stood and crossed the room. As he placed a hand on her shoulder, Catherine felt a little better. “That’s part of it, yes,” he said gently. “But I also felt you should know the truth. I’m not just your doctor, Catherine.” He awkwardly patted her. “I wish I could’ve said something sooner, but I simply couldn’t. Please understand, dear, if I could’ve spared you this pain, I would’ve.”
Catherine tried to smile, but it hurt too damn much so she gave up the effort. “The only person, or persons rather, to blame are gone.” She waved a hand through the air. “They’re buried, along with all the answers to the many questions running through my head.”
The doctor dropped his hands in his trouser pockets and said, “Maybe there is something among your mother’s belongings,” he offered. “Have you gone through everything already?”
Catherine thought of her parents’ bedroom and hope began to take seed. “No, actually. There is still quite a bit I have yet to deal with. I was going to spend today going through some of the stuff in the basement, but maybe I’ll tackle their bedroom instead.” She’d always thought of that room as their private domain. Catherine had been putting off going in there to sort through their things. Unfortunately, she no longer had the luxury of time. She wanted answers, because clearly there was a lot about herself she didn’t know. For starters, Catherine wanted to know who she was and where she’d come from.
He nodded and smiled. “There you go. Maybe you’ll find something that will help you understand why your mother chose to wait the way she did.”
Catherine shrugged. “Wait? You talk as if she intended to tell me someday when that might not be the case at all.”
“You and I both know that your mother wasn’t a cruel woman,” he gently chastised. “She loved you very much. I know she intended to tell you. I’m sure of it.”
“Maybe, but it won’t change the fact that she lied to me all these years. Nothing will fix that, Doctor.”
“True, but just try and keep in mind that she didn’t set out to hurt you.”
Catherine was fresh out of things to say. Her heart felt bruised and her mind was in chaos. “Thanks for coming,” she said, wrapping her arms around the man, bolstered when she felt him hug her in return. When they parted, Catherine pasted a smile on her face. “I know this had to be difficult. I’m sorry my parents put you in such a position.”
“I cared for Jean and Russ. They were good people. My friends. I only hope you find something among their things that might shed some light on all this.” He started out of the room, but when he reached the entryway, he turned to her and said, “Remember that I’m your friend as well. Call me if you want to talk. Anytime, Catherine.”
“Thank you, I will.”
It wasn’t until the doctor left that Catherine lost her battle with the tears. She simply dropped into the nearest chair and cried herself dry. It was nearing dinnertime before Catherine was able to pull herself together enough to pick up the phone. Mary, Catherine thought, she would know what to do. She always did.
When her friend’s cheery voice came over the line, Catherine nearly lost it all over again. “Mary, it’s Cat,” she explained, using the nickname her friend had given her when they’d first met back in high school. “Are you busy tonight?”
Mary laughed. “Jesus, no. I’m sitting her matching up socks and watching reruns of Friends. Please tell me you changed your mind about pizza and beer tonight.”
Mary had called the night before and offered to come over and hang out. She’d done a lot of that since the news of Catherine’s parents. No doubt about it, Catherine would’ve been lost without Mary these last two months. “I, uh, I’m not sure where to begin.”
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Mary asked, suddenly sounding more alert.
; Unwilling to get into it all over the phone, Catherine simply said. “Pizza and beer. We’re going to need a lot of both.”
“I’ve got it covered,” Mary said. “I’ll be there in a jiff. Just hang tight.”
“Thanks,” Catherine said. Her voice shook with emotion, but she was beyond caring.
After hanging up, Catherine sat back and waited. Mary would come and they would tackle this together, the way they’d done so many things over the years. “I’m not alone,” Catherine reminded herself. But when she looked up at the family portrait she felt very much alone.
Or was she?
If she was adopted, then who were her biological mother and father? And did she have siblings? Questions swirled around inside Catherine’s head until she thought she might be sick. Lies had a way of finding their way into the light, her mama had once said. Catherine shook her head when she thought of her mother imparting that bit of wisdom. She glanced up once more at the portrait of her grinning parents. “If only you practiced what you preached,” Catherine bit out.