“Oh, honey, I love you, too.”
So much. More than you can ever know.
Chapter Two
Killian had come here to clear his head, and never expected this revelation. All these years he’d had a kid and didn’t even know it. Years he’d missed out on. He was no different than his own father who’d fucked his mother and disappeared. He felt sick to his stomach. And pissed off with the world.
He looked around the apartment, and his gut did another flip. Over the past ten years, he’d lived on top of the world with more cash than he could spend. Killer of Kings was very lucrative, and now he was Boss’s right-hand man used for personal security and priority hits. He’d never stopped thinking of June, but had honestly believed she’d moved on with her life. The belief had both comforted him and torn him to shreds. Now he’d discovered she’d been slumming it in a piece of shit apartment, all her dreams left behind.
And there was a kid. His kid.
Killian couldn’t believe the past was on rewind, his own son struggling to survive with a single mother killing herself to put food on the table. He felt tears prick his eyes, his throat getting scratchy. His kid deserved better than he’d had it. Shit, he shouldn’t be running the streets in hand-me-down clothes, stealing to survive.
But it was too late to make amends. Killian would never see him as a father. He would forever be a fucking stranger, the bastard who’d abandoned his mother. He paced the room more, feeling anxious and volatile. He wanted to be angry at June, but she was right. He’d left with no way to contact him. It was supposed to be a sacrifice on his part, giving her up so she could live a normal life, a good life. If he had known she carried his baby, he never would have walked away.
“You didn’t tell him anything, did you?” she asked.
He turned to find her back in the room with him. “Tell him what? That I’m his father?”
“Yeah. That.”
“No, but is that a problem? He is my son, after all.”
She shook her head. “You gave up that right when you left without a trace. I won’t have you confusing him, hurting him. He’ll just fall in love with you, and then you’ll be gone. Trust me, I know how that feels.”
“I didn’t know you were pregnant. For God’s sake, you can’t pretend I don’t exist. I just found out I was a father twenty minutes ago,” he said.
“Well, I’ve been his mother and father for the past ten years. It hasn’t been easy, but I managed. You know why, because I had no choice. Being a parent comes with a lifetime responsibility, but you wouldn’t understand that, would you?”
His fists clenched at his sides. He felt like he was on trial for a crime he hadn’t committed, and he’d done a lot of bad shit.
“Look, I haven’t stopped thinking about you over the years. You’re the reason I came back to this town. But this, a kid, I never imagined any of it. If I’d known things would have been different,” he said.
“Let me guess, you wouldn’t have come back at all? Don’t worry, I don’t want your child support. You’re free to leave.” She crossed her arms over her chest again, completely blocking him out.
So many nights he’d picture this moment, this reunion, and it sure turned out better than the reality.
“You’re fucking impossible!” He walked over to her and braced a hand on each of her shoulders. “I want to help. I want to make things right.”
“I can’t do this. I won’t have you play with Killian’s heartstrings … or mine.” She shrugged him off and opened the door. “Pretend you never found us. You’re good at that.”
He stood in the doorway for a minute, staring at her. She hadn’t changed much since she was an innocent eighteen year old, still a natural beauty—still stubborn. Her gray eyes held him captive as they always had. One thing he couldn’t help but notice was how she’d matured into a woman, a woman with enough curves to make his dick take notice. Just looking at her now, he struggled to take his eyes off her. She had a big, juicy set of tits, that there was no hiding. She had a rounder stomach, and even her thighs looked thicker. He didn’t mind. This was his woman.
But he didn’t like how tired she looked, dark circles under her eyes, the zest he remembered snuffed out. This life could do that to a person, he knew that firsthand. He’d watched his own mother waste away, her hard reality stripping her essence layer by layer until she was a shell of a woman.
Killian wanted to make things right, to give her back that sparkle, to make her dreams come true.
He wasn’t going to fight her on this, not when they were both strung out on emotions. “If you think this is over, you’re wrong. I’ll never leave my son.”
“Goodbye, Killian.” She slammed the door on his ass. He wanted to punch his fist through it.
He noted the apartment number and the full address before he went back to his car. The ocean no longer held interest. He had a load of shit to think about.
Killian drove around the town, half in a daze. It hadn’t improved over the years. In fact, it had gotten worse. He parked at the best-looking motel he could find, and got a room for a couple nights. As soon as he got his key and settled in, he called Maurice, one of the guys he used for occasional intel.
“I need some information. Fast,” he said as soon as Maurice answered.
“Um, who’s speaking?”