I could easily put my hair up into a bun on my own, but I recognized the offer for what it was: a change of topic. But as she tugged and twisted my hair into some semblance of a neat style, I thought of the men having a mistress. She was their secret. I had one, too. Perhaps if I told them the truth, that I wasn’t really Patricia Strong, told them what happened to her, then perhaps they’d understand. A woman didn’t have the options of men. I didn’t have independent means to live on. Hell, my brothers were most likely on the hunt for me. I wanted a life of my own and I’d taken the option that presented itself. Hadn’t Lane and Spur done that at some point?
What could they do to me, besides toss me out? They could spank me, as they’d done briefly and completely as play, the night before. They could drag me to church and marry me. But, they could toss me out. Then where would I be? Alone, destitute and even worse off than the woman, Lil. At least Lil got money from men she fucked.
No, Lane and Spur were reasonable men. I’d tell them the truth as soon as the Tates left, then—if they kept me—I’d tell them I needed their faithfulness. I wanted, no, needed to be enough for them. If I told them while I was armed, perhaps that would help.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lane
I rubbed the back of my neck, hoping to ease the tense muscles and the ache that accompanied them. The sun was long behind the mountains, another indication besides my rumbling stomach that I’d been gone far too long. One of the boys from the mine had come to fetch me, stating that there had been a small cave-in. The boy had assured me that no one had been hurt, but I’d left Piper and Spur to visit with the Tates while I dealt with another crisis. I just wanted the mine sold and off my hands. I didn’t need it for the money any longer; I had plenty. Too much.
When I climbed the steps and entered through the kitchen, I could hear everyone in the dining room. The scent of roasted meat filled the air and my stomach rumbled again. Spur must have heard me since he came into the room.
“Well?” he asked.
“Same as before. Either the support beams on the new section were put up wrong or they were just weak. Tomorrow I’ll go through and inspect all of them.”
“I assume no one was hurt since I wasn’t called.”
I shook my head, leaned against the pump sink.
“That’s good, at least.”
I lifted my chin toward the dining room. “Going well?”
“Piper has made fast friends. We saved you a plate.”
Turning to the sink, I pumped in some water and scrubbed my hands. “Good, I’m starving.”
“You weren’t just at the mine.”
Fuck Spur and his perceptiveness. “I stopped in to see Lil.” Shaking off my hands, I continued, “Told her about Piper.”
“Oh? What did she say about that?”
“Said Piper would take up most of my time. Wondered if I’d still be able to come to her.”
“And?”
I sighed, angry. As if I’d just abandon Lil now when she needed me most. I owed her everything. My life. As if I’d stop visiting because of my marriage.
“And I said of course I’d keep seeing her. Said you’d continue as well. Together, if Piper can be occupied with Celia.”
Grabbing a cloth, I dried my hands and turned to face him. It wasn’t him I looked at though, but Piper, who stood in the doorway. She paused for just a second before coming in, offering me a thin smile.
“Everything all right at the mine?” she asked.
Fuck, had she heard me mention Lil? I didn’t want to explain myself to her now. Not while things had been going well. Going well? Hell, that was a gross understatement. Things were fucking fantastic with Piper. I never imagined we’d get a woman who was so perfect for us. It seemed we’d fucked the feistiness right out of her. I knew it wasn’t permanent. Hell, when she learned I was keeping a secret from her, she’d probably shoot me. While Lil wanted to meet her, I couldn’t do it. Not yet. I didn’t want her involved in my past. My childhood was bad enough. I’d risen above it all, pushed it away since it hurt too much to think about. The nightmares came often unbidden though. I could remember their voices, their grunts, the bad breath, the pain, the way my mother closed the door… knowing.
I was tainted and refused to let that touch Piper. That was why I was content to marry and share her with Spur. He was whole. He hadn’t been sold by his mother, used by men for sick pleasure. I couldn’t tell her what had happened to me. I didn’t speak of it. To anyone, ever. And if I explained who Lil was, the rest would be revealed and I couldn’t go back. Never again.
I strode across the room, took her in my arms. She was so warm, so soft, I sighed, reveling in the feel of her. Then I noticed she wasn’t hugging me back, her arms at her sides, her body almost rigid. “No. I have to go back and inspect every damn shirring.”
“I didn’t realize inspect also meant fuck. I’m sure your mistress’ shirrings need hours of your attentions.”
My mind stilled. “Precious, that’s not true.”
She stepped out of my hold, looked at Spur. All the color was gone from her face.