I could see Penn’s jaw set at that. I didn’t know if it was because of Lewis’s obvious affection or because I was acquainted with his brother’s girlfriend. Maybe both.
“I’ll see Jane later this week. I’m ready to go.” I hugged my arms to my chest.
“What’s the rush?” Penn smoothly stepped in. “It’s been a while since I’ve been out. We should open a bottle and make it like old times.”
“Penn,” I hissed warningly.
“I would, but I just follow where the lady goes,” Lewis said with a wide, knowing smile.
I gaped up at him. Jesus Christ, what was he doing? What were they both doing? Their Upper East Side was showing and I had to admit, it didn’t look good on either of them.
“Are we done here?” I finally snapped. “Are you two done measuring dicks?”
“Natalie,” Lewis said placatingly.
“No, you’re no better than him right now. This is stupid.”
Penn snorted, and I turned my gaze on him. “Don’t even start.”
He held his hands up in surrender, a cheeky grin on his face. “I would never.”
I rolled my eyes. How the hell had I gotten to this moment? I’d agreed to a chill evening out with Lewis at a party. I hadn’t bargained for cocaine, Camden, and then Penn.
“Let’s just go.” I pushed past Lewis and out into the hallway.
I heard Penn curse under his breath from the room I’d vacated, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t even look back to see if Lewis was following as I stormed down the hallway and back into the living room. The music had gotten louder, the dancing more scandalous, the alcohol flowing freely. It was no different than any party I’d gone to in college or with Amy after. But it pissed me off way more right now.
“Natalie,” Lewis said as I angled for the exit. He reached out and stopped me. “Hold on. Don’t run out of here.”
I sighed heavily and then looked up at him. “That interaction between you two was horrible.”
“I know. I’m sorry. But I don’t know how you expected me to react.”
“More of the punch him in the face and less of the ha-ha, I got your girl,” I spit out.
He chuckled softly. “I will keep that in mind if I see him again.”
I covered my face with my hands. “Tonight has been a disaster.”
“This wasn’t what I wanted it to be like.”
“I forgot how much I hated this part of this world.”
“Look, it’s not always like this. I had no idea Penn would be here. Or that I’d find you two alone in an empty bedroom together.”
“Ugh! It was so stupid. Being in there made everything worse.”
“What happened?”
I shook my head and looked away. I didn’t want to tell him, but I had to. “He kissed me.”
“Of course he did.” Lewis’s lips fell into a line.
“I pushed him away though,” I said quickly. “And then we yelled at each other. I swear, all we do is try to hurt each other. It’s exhausting.”
“Well, I’d hate that the last kiss you got was one that you didn’t want,” he said as he slipped an arm around my waist and brought his lips down on mine.
I didn’t correct him. I hadn’t wanted that kiss. It had just happened. But…it was Penn. So, it was infinitely more complicated than that.
Not that Lewis seemed to care. As he kissed my lips in front of the entire party. Laying claim on me for all to see. It was a short, hot, and possessive kiss that spoke volumes.
And when he pulled back, I could see Penn stop mid-stride from the hallway. His jaw was set as he stared at the pair of us. A moment passed between us. As he came to understand that I wasn’t going to change my mind. That, if anything, this had only made it worse.
I didn’t trust him.
Not after last year.
And not with how he was trying to manipulate me all over again.
I understood his frustration. I had said that I wasn’t interested in living this life, but that hadn’t changed. Only my feelings for Lewis had. And while I probably should have chosen someone other than his best friend, I couldn’t change that.
Lark came to Penn’s side with concern on her face, as if understanding precisely how wrong everything had gone. He ignored her, his eyes still locked on mine. But I’d already made my choice.
I broke Penn’s gaze and took Lewis’s hand, and together, we left the party.
Penn
18
I stood there, frozen, watching Natalie’s retreating back as she disappeared from view with Lewis.
“Penn,” Lark said. She shook my arm, trying to bring me back to reality.
But I was already in reality, and it was a cesspool, a nightmare.
“What the fuck happened?” Lark asked.
“I kissed her.”
“Wait, what?” she demanded. “That wasn’t part of the plan. I thought you were going to be sincere and tell her how much you missed her.”