I can't get over that look on Lorelai’s face. It cut me to the quick tosee her like that, and it's my fault. I should have tried harder to get away. Now I'm wrestling with my feelings again. That's why I didn't want to be here tonight. Ugh, I hate this. I shouldn't be feeling anything right now. This night has turned into a complete disaster. I need to stop letting my drunk friends talk me into things. Once I realized where I was I knew it was inevitable that I would see her.
A part of me was hoping to avoid that. I honestly don't know what I was expecting, her to welcome me with open arms? Not very likely after the way I left her hanging. A part of me wants to blame the woman that was talking to me, but I know it's my own fault. I knew beforehand that I didn't really want to be here, but I let Tim talk me into it anyways. Besides, I usually get recognized by the women at the auctions, it was just bad timing. Extremely bad timing. I've made such a mess of everything. Now I'm going to be up all night worrying and thinking about everything all over again. I'm no better off than I was before I came to the auction. In fact, I think things might be a little worse off now.
I look around as other men enter the bathroom. I need to get a grip and figure out what to do. I can't stay in here forever, but I don't know if I can handle the possibility of running into her again. The expression on her face will forever haunt me. I sigh in frustration. This is why I don't like feelings or emotions. They are too complicated and someone always ends up getting hurt. Love is messy and complicated, two main reasons to avoid falling into it.
I fix my hair and straighten my suit. I know what I need to do. I need to be a man and take responsibility for my actions. That's the only way to fix this problem. As I walk out of the bathroom, I have only one goal in mind. I need to find Lorelai and talk to her. I can't let anyone or anything stop me from that. As I walk outside, I notice the shop is more crowded now. This is going to make it damn near impossible to find her, but I need to. Thank goodness I don't see the woman who latched onto me earlier. I think I was rude enough to her that she'll leave me alone now. I keep my eyes peeled for any sight of Lorelai and her red hair. She's average height, so that will make her more difficult to spot in the crowd.
I turn around several times, my eyes playing tricks on me. I think I see her only to be disappointed each time. A few women have already gone on stage, but I'm not paying attention. I keep walking circles through the crowd hoping that I will see her. I get more sad and frustrated each time that I don't, and eventually, I start to lose hope.
Chapter 14 - Lorelai
I'm in the back of the store, the first place I could think of to run to. No one saw me, so no one knows I'm back here. I'm trying to pull myself together, but it's so difficult. Of course I was hoping that I would see Gabriel, a small part of me kind of was sure that I would once I agreed to host the auction.
It was just the shock of seeing him in that way. I know he wasn't here on a date, but the way that woman was touching all over him makes it pretty clear that there is some history there. At least I don't think she is the one that broke his heart.
I’ve never felt so crushed. I'm used to getting my heart broken, but somehow this one hurts worse than the others. Maybe it's because of how strong my feelings for him were, and how fast.
Well, those are gone now. I guess he got what he wanted.
I suppose I knew that he was all about fun when he never called me back. I guess I was just hoping that I was wrong, or that he would turn out different. What hurt the most was to have it presented in front of me like that just now. It hurt to watch him standing there, with her hands all over him. To watch him just look at me and let me leave.
I take a deep breath in, and I slowly let it out. I don't want to cry, not over him. I also don't want people to know that something is wrong with me. That would be bad for business, I think. I mean, I decided to hold the auction here. I knew he attended these types of things, so seeing him was a definite possibility. I was prepared to run into him, but not like this.