She pulls off her dress and leads me to the bedroom. Then I'm naked in her bed, and when she joins me, I cover her body with kisses. I shower her with love. I can’t assume, but I'm guessing that from her timid personality, she might still be a virgin. Because of that, I want her first time to be special. I take it slow. Building up the moment. When we can't stand it any longer, I'm inside of her. Her body feels firm and tight around me. I thrust slowly. I want her to feel every inch of me, to cry out my name as she cums.
There is something so thrilling about being the first to have a woman. At the same time it's beautiful and emotional because you are their first time. I make slow sweet love to her. I’m gentle with each thrust.
Personally, I'm kind of kinky, and the sweet, tender scene is awfully vanilla for me, but I don't want to hurt her or scare her off. I want to see her and be with her again. I lean down and kiss her, then bury my face in the side of her neck. She smells incredible, sweet and delicate, like the flowers she talks about.
I can feel her body tense beneath me, I know she's close. I thrust faster, but remain gentle. I can feel her grip on me tighten. My name is a moan on her lips. I can feel her climax, then her body goes limp. I imagine her lying there, satisfied and spent.
Before this goes any further, I shake those thoughts from my head. No matter how much I imagine it, that just wouldn't be right. She's a virgin. She's pure and sweet with an innocent soul. I couldn't take advantage of her like that no matter how attracted to her I am.
I shuffle through the papers on my desk. What I need to do is wait for the next auction. I'm sure to find my usual type of woman there to get my kinks out with. That is the best option after all. Right?
I stop with the papers. I can feel the doubt creeping in again. Why can't I leave this woman alone? She has such a hold over me, I have no idea what I'm going to do. I angrily try to focus on work. I'm going to be frustrated all day, but I might as well get some work done.
That fantasy that I had earlier was no help either. It just cemented her further in my mind. Eventually I'm able to accomplish a moderate amount of work before lunch. I'm still in a shit mood though. I go out of my way to avoid the people in the office.
I'm in no state of mind to deal with anyone right now. I know that's no way to work but it can't be helped right now. Until I'm able to sort my feelings out this is what I will have to endure. I eat lunch quickly then go back to work.
Thank goodness I have no real problems at the office to deal with today. That would really be a nightmare. I can't wait for this day to be over so I can go back to sleep and not have to think about anything.
That deep sleep I got the other day was a big help to me for a little while. I know I shouldn't keep putting off this situation, but it frightens me to have feelings like this. The last time I felt anything for a person I got hurt. I don't like feeling vulnerable. I don't ever want to feel that way again.
Still, I don't think Lorelai is the type to hurt anyone. I think it's the opposite based on the stories she told me about her love life, but you can never be too careful. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Especially when it pertains to matters of the heart.
Chapter 12 - Lorelai
I'm thoroughly depressed. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. It's silly to get all emotional over a guy you just met, but I can't help it. That night was the most memorable night that I have ever had.
It's been… I don't know how long since the date and I still haven't heard from Gabriel. I don't like to think about it too much because it makes me sad. I need to just give up. If he hasn't called by now, then I guess he's not going to call at all.
I stop looking at my phone and getting my hopes up every time. I need to just put him out of my mind and forget about him. Definitely easier said than done, though. I have never had feelings as strong as this before. How am I just supposed to forget about him? It was a mistake to give him my phone number, I realize that now. He clearly wasn't interested in pursuing anything with me. I feel like such a fool.