"We will," Aviendha said firmly.
"And how can you be so certain?"
Aviendha hesitated. Part of her wished to return only silence to that question, passing the leafless brush thickets and giving Amys no answer. But she was just an apprentice, and while she could not be forced to speak, she knew that Amys would keep pushing until the answer came out. Aviendha hoped she would not incur too much toh by her response.
"You know of the woman Min's viewings?" Aviendha said.
Amys nodded.
"One of those viewings relates to Rand al'Thor and the three women he will love. Another relates to my children by the Car'a'cam."
She said no more, and Amys pressed no more. It was enough. Both knew that one would sooner find a Stone Dog who would retreat than find a viewing of Min's that went wrong.
On one hand, it was good to know that Rand al'Thor would be hers, although she would have to share him. She did not begrudge Elayne, of course, but Min . . . well, Aviendha did not really know her. Regardless, the viewing was a comfort. But it was also bothersome. Aviendha loved Rand al'Thor because she chose to, not because she was destined to. Of course, Min's viewing didn't guarantee that Aviendha would actually be able to marry Rand, so perhaps she had misspoken to Amys. Yes, he would love three women and three women would love him, but would Aviendha find a way to marry him?
No, the future was not certain, and for some reason that brought her comfort. Perhaps she should have worried, but she did not. She would get her honor back, and then she would marry Rand al'Thor. Perhaps he would die soon after, but perhaps an ambush would come and she would fall to an arrow this day. Worrying solved nothing.
Toh, however, was another matter.
"I misspoke, Wise One," Aviendha said. "I implied that the viewing said I would marry Rand al'Thor. That is not true. All three of us will love him, and while that implies marriage, I do not know for certain."
Amys nodded. There was no toh; Aviendha had corrected herself quickly enough. That was well. She would not add more shame on top of what she had already earned.
"Very well, then," Amys said, watching the path ahead of her. "Let us discuss today's punishment."
Aviendha relaxed slightly. So she still had time to discover what she had done wrong. Wetlanders often seemed confused by Aiel ways with punishment, but wetlanders had little understanding of honor. Honor didn't come from being punished, but accepting a punishment and bearing it restored honor. That was the soul of toh—the willing lowering of oneself in order to recover that which had been lost. It was strange to her that wetlanders couldn't see this; indeed, it was strange that they didn't follow ji'e'toh instinctively. What was life without honor?
Amys, rightly, wouldn't tell Aviendha what she had done wrong. However, she was having no success thinking through the answer on her own, and it would cause less shame if she discovered the answer through conversation. "Yes," Aviendha said carefully. "I should be punished. My time in Caemlyn threatened to make me weak."
Amys sniffed. "You are no more weak than you were when you carried the spears, girl. A fair bit stronger, I should think. Your time with your first-sister was important for you."
So that wasn't it. When Dorindha and Nadere had come for her, they had said she needed to continue her training as an apprentice. Yet in the time since the Aiel had departed for Arad Doman, Aviendha had been given no lessons. She had been assigned to carry water, to mend shawls, and to serve tea. She had been given all manner of punishments with little explanation of what she had done wrong. And when she did something obvious—like going scouting when she shouldn't have—the severity of her punishment was always greater than the infraction should have merited.
It was almost as if the punishment was the thing the Wise Ones wanted her to learn, but that could not be. She was not some wetlander who needed to be taught the ways of honor. What good would constant and unexplained punishment do, other than to warn of some grave mistake she had made?
Amys reached to her side, untying something hanging at her waist. The woolen bag she held up was about the size of a fist. "We have decided," she said, "that we have been too lax in our instruction. Time is precious and we have no room left for delicacy."
Aviendha covered her surprise. Their previous punishments were delicate?
"Therefore," Amys said, handing over the small sack, "you will take this. Inside are seeds. Some are black, others are brown, others are white. This evening, before we sleep, you will separate the colors, then count how many there are of each one. If you are wrong, we will mix them together and you will start again."
Aviendha found herself gaping, and she nearly stumbled to a stop. Hauling water was necessary work. Mending clothing was necessary work. Cooking meals was important work, particularly when no gai'sbain had been brought with the small advance group.
But this . . . this was useless work! It was not only unimportant, it was frivolous. It was the kind of punishment reserved for only the most stubborn, or most shameful, of people. It almost . . . almost felt as though the Wise Ones were calling her da'tsang\
"By Sightblinder's eyes," she whispered as she forced herself to keep running. "What did I do?"
Amys glanced at her, and Aviendha looked away. Both knew that she didn't want an answer to that question. She took the bag silently. It was the most humiliating punishment she had ever been given.
Amys moved off to run with the other Wise Ones. Aviendha shook off her stupor, her determination returning. Her mistake must have been more profound than she had thought. Amys punishment was an indication of that, a hint.
She opened the bag and glanced inside. There were three little empty algode bags inside to help with the separation, and thousands of tiny seeds nearly engulfed them. This punishment was meant to be seen, meant to bring her shame. Whatever she'd done, it was offensive not just to the Wise Ones, but to all around her, even if they—like Aviendha herself— were ignorant of it.
That only meant she had to be more determined.
CHAPTER 4
Nightfall