Egwene eyed her. "You think it unwise?"
"No," Siuan said. "I worry about how hard you're pushing yourself. The Amyrlin needs to learn to ration her strength; some in your place have failed not because they lacked the capacity for greatness, but because they stretched that capacity too thin, sprinting when they should have walked."
Egwene refrained from pointing out that Siuan herself had spent much of her tenure as Amyrlin sprinting at a breakneck speed. But it could very well be argued that Siuan had stretched herself too thin, and had fallen as a result. Who better to speak on the dangers of such activities than one who had been burned by them so deeply?
"The advice is appreciated, daughter," Egwene said. "But really, there is little to worry about. My days are spent in solitude, with the occasional beating to provide spice. These meetings at night help me survive." She shivered, glancing away from Siuan, out the window toward the dirty, vacant street.
"Is it difficult to endure?" Siuan asked softly.
"The cell is narrow enough for me to touch opposite walls at once," Egwene said. "And isn't very long, either. When I lie down, I have to bend my knees to fit. I can't stand, since the ceiling is so low it makes me stoop, and I can't sit without pain, for they no longer Heal me between beatings. The straw is old and itches. The door is thick and the cracks don't allow in much light. I wasn't aware that the Tower had cells such as this one." She glanced back at Siuan. "Once I am upheld fully as Amyrlin, this room and any like it will be removed, the doors ripped out and the cells themselves filled with bricks and mortar."
Siuan nodded. "We'll make certain of it."
Egwene turned away again, and noticed with shame that she'd let her
gown shift to the cadin'sor of an Aiel Maiden, complete with spears and bow at her back. She forced the clothing back, taking a deep breath. "No person should be kept in such a manner," she said, "not even. ..."
Siuan frowned as Egwene trailed off. "What was that?"
Egwene shook her head. "It just occurred to me. This is what it must have been like for Rand. No, worse. The stories say he was locked in a box smaller than my cell. At least I can spend part of the evenings chatting with you. He had nobody. He was without the belief that his beatings meant something." Light send that she didn't have to endure as long as he had. Her imprisonment had only been a few days so far.
Siuan fell silent.
"Regardless," Egwene said, "I have Tel'aran'rbiod. During the days, my body is captive, but my soul is free at night. And each day I endure is another proof that Elaida's will is not law. She cannot break me. Her support from the others is eroding. Trust me."
Siuan nodded. "Very well," she said, rising. "You are Amyrlin."
"Of course I am," Egwene said absently.
"No, Egwene," Siuan said. "I meant that from the heart."
Egwene turned, surprised. "But you've always believed in me!"
Siuan raised an eyebrow.
"At least," Egwene said, "from fairly near the beginning."
"I always believed you had potential," Siuan corrected. "Well, you've fulfilled it. Some of it at least. Enough of it. However this storm blows through, you've proven one thing. You deserved the place you hold. Light, girl, you may end up being the best Amyrlin this world has known this side of Artur Hawkwing's reign!" She hesitated. "And that's not an easy thing for me to admit, mind you."
Egwene took Siuan's arms, smiling. Why, Siuan almost looked teary-eyed with pride! "All I did was get myself locked in a cell."
"And you did it like an Amyrlin, Egwene," Siuan said. "But I should be getting back. Some of us can't spend our days relaxing the way you can. We need real sleep, otherwise we're likely to fall unconscious in our washwater." She grimaced, releasing herself from Egwene's hands.
"You could just tell him to—"
"Now, I'll have none of that," Siuan said, wagging a finger at Egwene. Had she forgotten that she'd just been complimenting Egwene's stature as an Amyrlin? "I gave my word, and I'll be fish guts before I'll break it."
Egwene blinked. "I wouldn't dream of making you," she said, covering a smile as she noticed that Siuan's shadowy form now had a bright red ribbon in its hair. "Off with you, then."
Siuan nodded sharply, then sat down and closed her eyes. She faded slowly from Tel'aran'rhiod.
Egwene hesitated, watching the area where Siuan had been. It was probably time to return to normal dreaming, letting her mind restore itself. But returning to her normal dreams would be a step toward waking, and when she woke she would find only that cramped dungeon and its stuffy darkness. She longed to stay in the World of Dreams just a little longer. She thought of visiting Elayne's dreams to ask for a meeting . . . but no, that would take too much time, assuming Elayne could make her dream ter'angreal work. She rarely could, these days.
She found herself stepping away from Tar Valon, the cobbler's shop vanishing around her.
She appeared in the rebel Aes Sedai camp. A foolish place to visit, perhaps. If there were Darkfriends or Forsaken in the World of Dreams, they could very well be studying this camp and looking for information, much as Egwene sometimes visited the Amyrlin's study in Tel'aran'rhiod to search for clues on Elaida's plans. But Egwene needed to come here. She didn't question why; she simply felt that it was true.
The streets of the camp were muddy, worn in ruts from passing wagons. Once just a field, the area had been appropriated by the Aes Sedai and turned into . . . something. Part a place of war, with Bryne's soldiers camped in a ring about them. Part town, though no town had ever boasted such a complement of Aes Sedai, novices and Accepted. Part monument to the weakness of the White Tower.