Then we must try again, Lerian replied.
Aviendha dropped her rock into the pile by the watchpost, then turned around. She did not acknowledge the Maidens who watched the way into the camp, and they did not acknowledge her. Speaking to her while she was being punished would only heighten her shame, and her spear-sisters would not do that.
She also didn't indicate that she understood their conversation. While nobody expected a former Maiden to forget handtalk, it was best to be unobtrusive. The handtalk belonged to the Maidens.
Aviendha selected a large stone from a second pile, then began to walk back into camp. If the Maidens continued their conversation, she could not tell, as she could no longer see their hands. But their discussion lingered with her. They were angered that Rand al'Thor had gone to meet with the general Rodel Ituralde without guards. It was not the first time he had acted so foolishly, and yet he seemed unwilling—or unable— to learn the proper way. Each time he put himself in danger without protection, he insulted the Maidens as surely as if he had slapped each one in the face.
Aviendha probably had some small toh toward her spear-sisters. Teaching Rand al'Thor of Aiel ways had been her task, and she had quite obviously failed. Unfortunately, she had a much greater toh toward the Wise Ones, even if she still didn't know the reason. Her lesser duty to her spear-sisters would have to wait for an appropriate time.
Her arms ached from carrying rocks. They were smooth and heavy; she had been required to dig them out of the river beside the manor house. Only her time spent with Elayne—when she had been forced to bathe in water—had given her the strength to walk into that river. In that, she had not shamed herself. And at least this river was a small one—wetlanders might inaccurately call it a stream. A stream was a tiny mountain runoff in which you could dip your hands or fill a waterskin. Anything too large to step across was definitely a river.
The day was overcast, as usual, and the camp was subdued. Men who had bustled just days before—when the Aiel had arrived—were more lethargic now. The camp wasn't by any means unkempt; Davram Bashere was too careful a commander to allow that, wetlander though he was. However, the men did move more slowly. She had heard some of them complain that the dark sky was dampening their moods. How strange wetlanders were! What did the weather have to do with one's mood? She could understand being displeased that no raids were approaching, or that a hunt had gone poorly. But because there were clouds in the sky? Was shade so poorly appreciated here?
She shook her head, continuing on her way. She had chosen stones which would strain her muscles. To do otherwise would have been to make light of her punishment, and she wouldn't do that—although each step pained her honor. She had to cross through the entire camp, in full sight, doing work that was useless! She would rather have been naked before them all outside of the sweat tent. She would rather have run a thousand laps, or been beaten so hard that she couldn't walk.
She reached the side of the manor house and deposited her stone with a hidden sigh of relief. Two wetlander soldiers from Bashere's army stood guarding the door into the manor, a counterpart to the two Maidens at the other end of Aviendha's trek. As she stooped and picked up a large stone from a second pile by the wall, she overheard them speaking.
"Burn me, but it's hot," one of the men complained.
"Hot?" the other replied, glancing at the overcast sky. "You're jesting."
The first guard waved his hand at himself, puffing out and sweating. "How can you not feel that?"
"You must have a fever or something."
The first guard shook his head. "I just don't like the heat, that's all."
Aviendha picked up her rock and began to walk back across the green. After some contemplation, she had determined that being a wet-lander required one common attribute: a fondness for complaining. During her first months in the wetlands, she had considered this shameful. Did that guard not care that he was losing face in front of his fellow by exposing his weakness?
They were all like that, even Elayne. If you listened to her talk about the aches, sicknesses and frustrations of her pregnancy, you would almost think she was approaching death! However, if complaining was something that Elayne did, then Aviendha refused to accept it as a sign of weakness. Her first-sister would not act in such a shameful way.
Therefore, there had to be some hidden honor in it. Perhaps the wet-landers exposed their weaknesses to their companions as a means of offering friendship and trust. If your friends knew of your weaknesses, it would give them an advantage should you dance the spears with them. Or, perhaps, the complaining was a wetlander way of showing humility, much as the gai'shain showed honor by being subservient.
She had asked Elayne about her theories and had received only a fond laugh in return. Was it some aspect of wetlander society that she was forbidden to discuss with outsiders, then? Had Elayne laughed because Aviendha had figured out something she was not meant to?
Either way, it was certainly a way to show honor, and that satisfied Aviendha. If only her own problems with the Wise Ones were as simple! It was expected that the wetlanders would act in erratic, unnatural ways. But what was she to do when Wise Ones behaved so strangely?
She was growing frustrated—not with the Wise Ones, but with herself. She was strong and brave. Not as brave as some others, of course; she could only wish to be as bold as Elayne. Still, Aviendha could think of only a few problems which she hadn't been able to solve with the application of spears, the One Power or her wits. Yet she had failed utterly at deciphering her current predicament.
She reached the other side of the camp and deposited her stone, then brushed off her hands. The Maidens stood motionless and contemplative.
Aviendha moved to the other pile and picked up an oblong rock with a jagged edge. It was three handspans wide, and the smooth surface threatened to slip in her ringers. She had to shift it several times before getting a good purchase. She headed back across the trampled winter thatch, past Saldaean tents, toward the manor house.
Elayne would say that Aviendha hadn't thought the problem through. Elayne was calm and thoughtful when other people were tense. Aviendha sometimes grew frustrated with how much her first-sister liked to talk before committing to action. I need to be more like her. I need to remember that I'm not a Maiden of the Spear any longer. I can't charge in with weapon held high.
She needed to approach problems as Elayne did. That was the only way she was going to get her honor back, and only then could claim Rand al'Thor and make him hers as much as he was Elayne's or Min's. She could feel him through the bond; he was in his room, but was not sleeping. He pushed himself hard and slept too little.
The stone slipped in her fingers, and she nearly stumbled as she rebalanced her weight, hefting it in tired arms. Some of Bashere's soldiers walked past, bemused expressions on their faces, and Aviendha felt herself blush. Although they might not know that she was being punished, she was shamed before them.
How would Elayne reason out this situation? The Wise Ones were angry at Aviendha for not "learning quickly enough." And yet they didn't teach her. They just asked those questions. Questions about what she thought of their situation, questions about Rand al'Thor or about the way Rhuarc had handled meeting with the Car'a'carn.
Aviendha couldn't help feeling that the questions were tests. Was she answering incorrectly? If so, why didn't they instruct her in the proper responses?
The Wise Ones didn't think she was soft. What was left? What would Elayne say? Aviendha wished for her spears back so that she could stab something. Attack, test herself against another, work out her anger.
No, she thought forcefully. / am going to learn to do this as a Wise One. I will find honor again!
She reached the manor and dropped her rock. She wiped her brow; ignoring heat and cold as Elayne had taught her didn't keep her from sweating when she worked her body this hard.