“All I want is for you to tell me you love me.” Her eyes lifted up to meet my gaze. “To forget that horrific night and just start over. I don’t want to forgive you because I’d rather forget.” She held my gaze as she waited for me to say the words, for me to echo the love that was in her heart.
My thumb stopped brushing against her cheek, and I held my breath as I stared at her. She had every part of me, all of my thoughts, my emotions, and my body. I didn’t want to share my bed with anyone else. But I didn’t want to commit to a life I’d told her I didn’t want. “I told you I would never marry you.”
“Did I ask you to marry me?” she whispered. “I just want to love you—and have you love me in return. The future is blurry and uncertain, but that’s how it’s supposed to be. Anything can happen. The door is always open to potential—and you should never close it. Closing off possibilities is only a disservice to yourself.”
My hand slowly slid down to her neck, her wisdom striking me hard.
“Do you really not love me, Conway? Or do you just not want to?”
My hand moved to her shoulder then slid down her arm. The backs of my forefingers brushed against her soft skin. The farther I moved, the colder I felt. When my hand pulled away entirely, it was like stepping into the Arctic. “I want exactly what we had before. I want to give you all of me, and I want to take all of you. I want us to live together in that beautiful mansion and make beautiful lingerie together. I want it to stay that way…until it’s run its course. I don’t know where I’ll be in five or ten years. And whether I tell you I love you or not, it doesn’t make a difference. Even if I did say it, that doesn’t mean I won’t leave you. Because, one day, I will. And I would never mislead you about my intentions.”
Her eyes stayed the same, but the moisture on the surface slightly deepened. She didn’t frown or take a deep breath. As a prideful woman, she held her stance of power. “I’m not ashamed to tell you that I love you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care about your yacht in Greece or the beautiful clothes you buy me. I want to sleep every night with you beside me, to listen to your deep breathing while you dream. I want to be pregnant with your son or daughter, to become your wife in a pretty white dress. I want to be your inspiration always, no matter how much my body changes or how I age. I want us to be together forever, to be buried underneath the same tombstone. I can say all of that without shame, even as you look at me with rejection, because it’s real. And I can’t settle for some of you. I can’t love you with my whole heart if you won’t do the same. As much as I love you, I know I deserve better.” She released a quiet sigh, her eyes welling up further. “I’ll never forget our time together. You changed my life in so many good ways. I’ll never forget the way the Italian sun feels against my skin, the way you sat across from me on the terrace when we had breakfast every morning. I’ll never forget our nights together, how you took me when I was innocent and made me into a woman. I have a lot of happy memories…but that’s all you’ll ever be. A memory. One day, I’ll meet someone else and fall in love again. I’ll get married and have children, and there will always be a slight pain because you aren’t the man I’m married to. But in time, those memories will fade. And maybe one day…I’ll forget them altogether.” When she blinked, two tears streaked down her cheeks.
It killed me to see them.
She rose on her tiptoes and cupped my face before she placed a kiss on my mouth. It was slow and soft, slightly salty from her tears. She breathed with me, feeling my upper lip between hers. She slowly pulled away, her eyes wet and red. “Goodbye, Conway.”
Muse didn’t need me.
She was rich and safe, living in a great apartment in a safe building.
From what I heard, Andrew was happily married and a well-known family man. When he wasn’t working, he was seen with his two sons at baseball practice and academic decathlon. But even the happiest man could succumb to temptation when a woman like Muse was around.
Walking out of her apartment was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I wanted to keep kissing her and guide her into the bedroom so I could make love to her one last time, but that would only make it harder.