On both of us.
So I took my plane back to Italy.
I left her behind.
I slept on the plane, which was the longest amount of time I’d slept since she left.
Now that I knew she was okay, saw it with my own eyes, I could finally relax.
I returned to Verona and walked into the home I bought almost ten years ago. When I bought it, I knew it was big for just a single man. But the previous owner needed to sell the house quickly because he’d lost his company. He gave me an unbelievable deal, so I moved in to the enormous mansion.
Dante greeted me when I walked inside. “Hello, sir. How was your trip?”
I wasn’t in the mood for small talk. “Fine. I’m not hungry right now. I’ll take dinner in a few hours.”
“Of course.” He walked with me to the stairs. “Sir?”
“Yes, Dante?”
“I hate to ask but…will Miss Sapphire be returning?”
I stopped at the bottom stair and gripped the rail of the staircase. The question annoyed me, but I couldn’t blame him for wondering. “No.”
Dante gave a slight nod, but there was no hiding the disappointment in his eyes. “Would you like me to remove all of her things from your bedroom?”
I didn’t want to throw anything away, but I didn’t want to see her clothes every time I opened my closet. I didn’t want to see her panties in my dresser. I didn’t want to see her old perfume in the bathroom. Everything would remind me of her, and I didn’t want to be reminded of the woman who changed my life. “Yes…but don’t throw it away.” I didn’t want to keep her things because I hoped she would come back one day. I just couldn’t bear seeing her stuff thrown in the garbage.
“Of course.” He gave another nod and turned away.
“Dante?”
He turned back around.
“I didn’t realize you were so fond of her.” I’d never seen them interact, and he was put off when she tried to help herself in the kitchen. After that, they didn’t interact very often.
“I’m not,” he said. “I just know she made you happy.”
Time moved so slowly.
I stopped working out and spent my time in my room.
It rained one day, and it was the first rain of the season. It poured on the rooftop, and the sound of the rain was loud when the Tuscan-style windows were open. I wished she could have seen it. All she’d ever known was the constant sunshine. Something about the rainfall was peaceful, even when you were forced to stay inside.
I found myself thinking about her a lot, wondering what she was doing. Did she like modeling for Andrew? Were the other women treating her right? Was she getting used to New York again? Or did she still miss Italy?
I went to work in Milan later that week, and I didn’t feel any motivation when I walked through the doors. The only reason I was there was because I didn’t know what else to do with my time.
I sat in the studio and stared at my sketchbook, no idea what to draw. All I could think about was the last time I saw Muse. The tears streaked down her face, and her eyes were swollen and puffy.
It didn’t turn me on like the other times. It broke my heart.
I didn’t even know I had a heart until then.
I was tempted to Google her, to see the multitude of images she appeared in. Not only did I want to see her face, but I wanted to see her body. I missed looking at her long legs, at her narrow waist. I wanted to drag my tongue everywhere, to taste her one more time. It’d been a month since she left my house, and it was the longest time I’d gone without getting laid since I hit puberty.
I hadn’t even jerked off.
Too depressed.
But now, the arousal was building up inside me. Instead of going out and catching tail, I wanted to be with Muse. I wanted that slow but good sex. I wanted to be skin-to-skin with the woman who’d only had me. I didn’t want to wear a condom and fuck a woman I wouldn’t remember.
I stared blankly at my sketchbook.
My phone rang, and Carter’s name appeared on the screen. I almost didn’t answer it, but I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?” he asked incredulously. “I’ve never heard you say that before.”
“First time for everything, right?”
He sighed. “You sound miserable, so I assume you decided to be an idiot.”
“Not an idiot. It just didn’t work out.”
“So, what? It’s over.”
Losing her was difficult, but I didn’t see any other way around it. “Yes.”
“And now what?”
“I move on.”
“To what, exactly? You aren’t going to find another woman like that.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
He sighed again. “Con—”
“Let it go. It’s done.”