He was fucking lost. He didn’t know how the fuck to get his sister back. He didn’t know how to defeat the Brethren. He fucking knew nothing.
Diel glanced up when he saw a flicker of movement beside him. Silently, Sela sat down next to him on the bench. His hair was wet too, feet and torso bare as if he had fled his bed too. As if he was unraveling too.
Sela stared out over the manicured lawn. The mist looked like ghosts waking from the dead to haunt the old grounds under the protective cover of darkness. Diel looked at his brother, his best friend, and saw Auguste’s unwanted shadow lurking around him. Without moving, Sela said, “I sometimes wish I could tear off my own face. Make a new one from all the people I kill.” Sela’s jaw clenched, the only indication that he was anything but calm inside. “Just so I don’t have to share any fucking features with him anymore.”
Diel felt immediate sorrow for his brother. He remembered how Finn Nolan had felt about his little sister, his only sibling. He’d adored her, wanted to protect her, wanted to get them both free from their mother and get them a better life. He couldn’t imagine hating her, wanting her dead. He couldn’t imagine having a sibling who was responsible for so many people’s grief and pain.
Diel didn’t say anything in response. He had no fucking clue what would help his brother right now.
Sela shifted on the seat. “Her name was Destiny.”
Diel froze. Sela’s eyes were downcast, and the high wind kept his long dark hair blown forward, hiding his face. But something in Sela’s voice sounded different. It carried an inflection of mourning. Of sorrow. Of longing …
“We were kids in the same group home,” Sela said. Diel stared at his brother in shock. Sela never spoke of life before Purgatory. None of his brothers really did. Those were the only memories they had the privilege of keeping to themselves. Kept just for them, when their entire lives had been held in someone else’s hands. Sela sighed, then looked at Diel. The sadness in his brown eyes cut Diel to the core. “Destiny had issues.” Sela sealed his mouth shut then, as if anything else he said would be a betrayal of the girl he’d obviously loved. He sighed, but then allowed himself to add, “Auguste had her taken away from me.” His jaw tightened. “I ended up in Purgatory.”
“Where did he take her?” Diel asked.
“Killed her,” Sela whispered after a few tense seconds. He lifted his chin. “He made sure I knew that he killed her. That she would never be mine again. That I would never have anything for myself ever again.”
The rage simmering in Diel rose to a boil. His hands shook, and he was sure he could feel his monster breaking through for a moment just to show his fury.
“Brother …” Diel said.
Sela stood, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “We’re going to get your sister back from whatever fucked-up reality he has her living in.” Sela’s face displayed more evil than any painting he could ever create. “Then I’m going to kill my brother once and for all.” Sela nodded, as if reassuring himself of that fact. “He has your sister. He hurt the Coven, your Noa.” Sela hissed as he inhaled. “And he took my Destiny away from me. My greatest and only muse. For that, he will die, and he will die slowly.”
Sela began to walk away.
“Sela … I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” Diel said. Sela turned back to him, nodding his head. Then Diel thought of Sela’s studio. The paintings, the statues … and realization hit him. They were all different forms of the same person. Of the same girl. “She’s who you draw, isn’t she?” he asked. “Who you try to recreate.”
Sela’s gaze drifted off over the gardens again. “I found out a long time ago that you can’t recreate perfection.” He gave a self-deprecating smile. “Though every day I try, just so I can see her face again. Just so I can have her back in some small way.”
It took Sela a while to move again, clearly drained of energy. When it seemed he’d mustered up enough strength, he walked away in silence, and Diel knew not to follow. His brother wanted to be alone. But as he watched Sela go, Diel’s nerves felt untied, frayed. Auguste had killed the love of Sela’s life. His own brother took away his only chance at happiness and then dumped him in hell.
As Sela was swallowed up by the thick mist, Diel got to his feet. He raced back through the gardens to the manor and straight back into his bed. Noa shifted as her warm skin met his cold body. Her eyes flickered open, a sleepy smile forming on her lips when she saw Diel looking down at her. As Sela had said about Destiny, to Diel, Noa was perfection. Unaware of his inner worship, she laid her cheek on Diel’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her as she fell back to sleep.