“You want me to take it now?” she asked perplexed.
He nodded again.
He intended to couple with her, but he refused to have a bairn with her. The thought confused and troubled her.
He pointed to the crocks again.
Her chin went up along with her stubbornness. “No!”
He drew his head back shocked by her response.
“You refuse to have bairns with me which tells me you do not want this marriage. I cannot express enough how sorry I am for having forced this marriage upon you. I release you of all responsibility to me. Go and live as you choose and I will do the same.” She held her chin high, while her heart broke.
He groaned deep and turned away from her and she thought he would take his leave, since he walked to the door, but he didn’t. He turned around to face her, the tight set of his jaw telling her that he fought with a response.
Elysia felt the need to explain, offer some explanation for her foolish mistake. “I don’t know what made me say your name when Chieftain Emory gave me a choice in a husband. It was rude of me to speak your name when you had already refused a proposal of marriage from me. The only excuse I can offer—and a poor one at that—is that I feel comfortable and safe with you.” She shook her head. “I am not being completely truthful. I do favor you. I enjoy talking with you, though it is I who does the talking and you who patiently listens and—” She hesitated, not sure if she should admit what she felt and decided to continue to be truthful. “I do enjoy when you kiss me, though I have no experience with a kiss, you being my first.” She thought she heard him groan. “There is also a comfort with you I have never found with a man. Most men frighten me—not you. Still, though, that is no excuse for what I did and for that I apologize.”
Saber paced in front of the door, a low growl-like sound emanating from him.
“I meant what I said. I will not hold you to our vows. You are free to leave and live as you choose.”
Saber turned and glared at her, looked about to approach her, then turned and walked out the door.
She dropped down on the edge of the bed, shaking her head and fighting tears. What was wrong with her? Saber cared nothing for her. Why should she care for him? And how did she stop herself from caring for him?
“Oh, God, Bliss, I wish you were here. I need your wise words, your loving arms, and your healing heart. I do not know what to do and I do not understand why I hurt so much.”
She buried her face in her hands, not knowing what to do and feeling more alone and helpless than ever.
The door creaked open and her head shot up, shocked to see Saber enter. She thought to remain silent, but words slipped out, “I truly am sorry.”
He tipped his head back and released a low rumbling groan before he walked over to her. His hand went to her waist, yanking her to her feet, then his hands settled at her face, cupping it firmly.
He held her eyes with his, anger faint in them, replaced with a gentleness she had often seen when he looked upon her. He appeared hesitant to speak or it was that he struggled to speak, she couldn’t be certain.
“I fa—” He scrunched his eyes shut a moment, then rushed words out in one breath. “I favor you.”
Elysia’s eyes spread wide, her heart leapt with joy, though it was a short burst of delight and she voiced her concern. “I don’t understand. If you favor me, why do you not want me as your wife?”
Saber’s hands fell away from her face and he stepped away from her, shaking his head. He tapped at the center of his chest with a fisted hand. His voice was gravelly when he forced himself to speak. “Not good fo—” A cough interrupted him and he pointed to Elysia.
“You think you are not good for me?” she asked and went to him, her small hand rushing to cover his mouth. “You will speak no more today. You worsen your throat by forcing yourself to speak and that will only damage it more.”
He nodded and placed his hand over hers, devouring it, selfishly wanting it to remain there like a lasting kiss.
Elysia sought to confirm what she believed was his response. “So you believe you are not good for me, and you will speak no more today as I have asked of you.”
He nodded and reluctantly freed her hand.
“I do not know what makes you think you are not good for me. I find you a gentle soul—”