She had made mistakes that might still cost her the marriage—like being so uptight about getting pregnant. Tom was right and they should just adopt. He was wonderful with any kids he was ever around.
Had he already signed the divorce papers?
It didn’t matter. They could marry again. She wasn’t giving up, because the days they had spent together had been a reunion for them, binding them together stronger than ever. He thought when they were together, they compounded the hurts. They might sometimes, but they definitely did not compound the bad times often.
Life had rough times, and Tom was tough enough to weather them. And so was she. Together they would do better at getting through them.
She showered, brushing out her long wavy hair and pulling on a red T-shirt, jeans and boots. She left to find him, walking to the guesthouse. He wasn’t there, so she had called Gus, who said he hadn’t seen Tom but thought he was still on the ranch.
She stood in front of the guesthouse and then she thought about where she might find him. She drove to the most beautiful spot on the ranch, a gradual slope that had a winding, shallow stream along the bottom. There were big oaks planted inside the small area that had a white picket fence around it. It was the plot of land she and Tom had picked out together for the cemetery where Ryan was buried, with a marble angel standing beside the marble headstone and a bank of blooming Texas Lilac Vitex on either side. Tom stood in the shade of one of the oaks with his pickup parked outside the fence.
When he saw her coming, he turned to face her and waited as she came through the gate.
He had on his black Stetson and a black cotton shirt, along with jeans and black boots. He looked wonderful to her.
“I was just about to leave to find you. I figured I’d have to drive to Royal. I thought you went back to town.”
“I did, but I came back. I thought I would find you here at the family cemetery. This place holds so much meaning for us.”
“It’s quiet out here and I can think about Ryan and about us, the past, the present—these days we’ve spent together. Think about this miracle of another little child having Ryan’s heart that is givng her life.”
“I know you used to come out here and just stay for a while.”
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“For me, it brings up so many good memories. Working on your house together, we added some more good moments.”
As he stepped closer, he raised an eyebrow. “Why were you looking for me?”
A breeze tugged at her hair as she faced him.
“Will you come home with me?”
She saw the flare of surprise in his eyes. “I love you, and I don’t want a divorce,” she said. “Ever since I received the email from Maverick, you have acted like a man in love. We’ve had a lot of love between us, and I’m not ready to give up on this marriage.” She hugged him tightly. “I know I’ve made mistakes, Tom, but we can work through the problems.”
He wrapped his arms around her to kiss her, a kiss that was an answer by itself. Trembling, she clung to him and kissed him back while joy filled her because he would never kiss her this way if he was going to divorce her.
He released her slightly, letting his hands rest on her shoulders again. “Before we go any further, there’s something I have to say.” His expression was solemn and suddenly she wondered if she had guessed wrong, that his possessive and responsive kiss was goodbye.
Cold fear wrapped around her again. “What is it?”
“Ah, Em, I’m so sorry. I failed you both, you and Ryan. I couldn’t save him. I failed you then in the worst way,” Tom said, looking beyond her.
“You didn’t fail me. You didn’t fail him, either. Don’t blame yourself when you are blameless.”
“Yes, I did. I should have saved him.”
“You couldn’t. The doctors said he died from the trauma caused by his injuries in the bus,” she said. “You didn’t fail me or Ryan, because you did the very best you could. All of Ryan’s life, you were an amazing father, and Ryan wanted to be just like you.”
“I’ve always felt I failed you both. I don’t know, Em—”
“Well, I know what I want and what I need. Our marriage has been good again—joyous, sexy, productive. We’ve been best friends and enjoyed each other’s company, helped each other. We can do this. I’m not giving up on our marriage,” she said, squeezing him tightly as if by holding him she could keep him from doing anything to end their union.
She looked up at him and he brushed her hair from her face to gaze into her eyes.
He stepped back and reached into his jeans pocket, struggling to pull something out. “That’s why I was going to town. I wanted to find you and tell you that I don’t want the damn divorce. I love you with all my heart and I need you in my life.”
Tears of joy filled her eyes as she hugged him. “I love you. We can get through life together. Tom, I love you so.”