In all the articles, there’s a strong indication that the writers consider them a couple. The latest, which has them together at a book launch, is only a few weeks before I met David in Ashford.
The door opens and David steps into the room, looking worried. His expression changes to relief when he sees me sitting there.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
I shrug, turning back to the tablet, I’m angry, jealous and in love. It’s not a very good combination.
He comes closer to me and his eyes take in the search pages I have open on screen of the tablet. “Nothing you find there has anything to do with me and you.” He says.
I can feel my heart breaking as I look at him. Is there a ‘him’ and ‘me’? Right now, I’m not so sure. I want to ask him once and for all, how he actually feels about me, but I’m afraid I won’t like the answer. I turn back to the pictures on my tablet and stare at them for a long moment.
“Tell me about her.” I ask.
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“Really?” I glare at him, “because it’s very clear here that she was your girlfriend only a short time ago.
He shrugs, “Don’t believe everything you read in the papers Sophie. We saw each other on and off for a while, but it’s been over for a long time.”
“Do you love her?” I ask, unable to keep the jealousy I feel from creeping into my voice. “Is that why you’re keeping me hidden, so that she won’t find out about me?”
He sighs and walks over to me, coming to sit beside me. I try not to be distracted by how beautiful he is, by the intensity in his eyes. I have to try very hard to breathe. “You don’t need to concern yourself about Carole.” He says, his eyes holding mine and keeping me captive.
I want to believe him so much, even though he hasn’t even bothered to answer my question.
“Her father invested a lot in your career.” I start, looking away from him.
“In return for a huge profit,” He says coaxingly, “It was good business, and he made money from Preston Corp every day we’ve been in existence.”
I close my eyes and take a breath. “All those pictures of the two of you...”
“Mean nothing,” he says, “We went to a lot of the same places, and people are used to mentioning our names together.”
I sniff, unconvinced. “Why don’t you want anyone to know about me?” I ask.
There is a long pause as I wait for him to answer my question. My breath catches in my throat.
He doesn’t reply. Abruptly, I get up, abandoning the tablet on the sofa. “Fine, don’t tell me.” I mutter, making for the door. If I needed any proof that I mean nothing to him, this is it. If he cared about me, he would tell me what I need to know. He wouldn’t keep me living in this limbo of not knowing where I stand.
His hand closes around mine before I get to the door.
“Sophie.” I turn around, hopeful, waiting for him to say something, but he stays silent.
I pull my hand from his. “Don’t touch me.” I say, my voice catching in my throat. “Don’t ever touch me again.”
He looks annoyed. “Stop being childish Sophie.”
His words are more hurtful than his silence, I turn from him and rush towards our room. I need to get away from him. I don’t care where I go. I just want to stop feeling as if I’m drowning in emotions I can’t control.
“Sophie, for God’s sake.”
I hear him, but I don’t stop. I rush through the bedroom towards the closet. The thought of leaving him fills me with physical pain, but I can’t stay with him if he won’t even talk to me.
He catches up with me before I get to the closet door. He pulls me into his arms, crushing me to his chest. “Stop,” He whispers in my ear, “Stop.”
I close my eyes, losing myself in his embrace, realizing, as I breathe in the scent of his skin, and feel the warmth of his arms around me, that I could never leave him, not when he can make me feel like this. I melt into him, so overwhelmed by the depth of my emotions, that I can feel the wetness of tears in my eyes.
He starts to stroke my hair, and I press myself to his chest. I can hear the rhythm of his heart beating. In this moment, it feels as if he’s mine, as if the deep longing I feel for him is being fulfilled. But I can’t be sure, I can’t be sure until he tells me how he feels.