I just couldn’t get past the anger and hurt I was feeling, even though I hated that she was miserable. I hated that I’d allowed her brother to come between us, but I couldn’t get past the fact that with her unguarded statements, she had set Jason on the path to wrecking my heart in the first place.
“Hey.” Her voice was hesitant. “You’re home.”
I drew in a long breath. “Yeah.”
She was silent. There was a drunk elf key holder by the door, another one of her quirky art pieces. I hung my keys and steeled myself for whatever she planned to say.
“Did you read my note?”
I folded my arms. “I did.”
“I’m really, really sorry, Daphne. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since…”
“Since you found out your brother challenged himself to nail your roommate because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut?”
She flinched. “I understand that you’re mad at me. I deserve it. At the time, I just didn’t think—”
“Why would you?” I countered bitterly. “With your picture-perfect life, your perfect parents, perfect ranch house with the perfect lake and the perfect housekeeper and the doting brother and the perfect boyfriend, how would it ever occur to you not to be careless with something your pathetic new roommate told you in confidence?”
Her eyes filled with tears, and so did mine. I hated the mean things I was saying and wanted to apologize, but pain and anger had taken hold of my heart and left me cold and empty.
“I don’t think you’re pathetic,” Amy said in a small voice.
“Well, thanks to you and your brother, I actually kind of am.” I started to walk away. I was moments away from bawling, and I didn’t want to cry in front of her.
“Daphne, I’m sorry.”
I didn’t stop walking. I went into my room and closed the door behind me.
I spent the weekend indoors, mostly in my room. I avoided Amy because I knew if we spoke again, I would break down and forgive her, but I couldn’t do that. If I didn’t hold on to my anger, I would have only the pain, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
After attempts to read, sleep, relax, and do yoga, I gave up. Nothing worked. The weekend went by slowly, and on Sunday afternoon, when I heard Amy’s chirpy doorbell ringing insistently, I was almost relieved to go see who it was.
I knew it couldn’t be Jason. I was fairly sure he wouldn’t come here, not after I let him know how disgusted he made me and that I never wanted to see him again. My certainty was confirmed when I looked through the peephole and saw Colin.
I felt a faint twinge of disappointment, because somewhere inside, I’d hoped it would be Jason coming to brush aside all my protests and make sure I listened to him.
That was how pathetic I was.
I opened the door and gave Colin a warm smile, trying not to think of the last time I’d seen him, the morning I’d gone from euphoric to devastated in the space of a few words.
“Hey, Colin,” I said. “What’s up?”
“Hey, Daph.” He gave me a sweet smile. “I haven’t seen you in a while. How’re you doing?”
“Great.” I exhaled. “Just great.” I stepped back to let him into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Inside, he hesitated, and there was an odd look on his face. “Is Amy home?” he asked.
I frowned. “You didn’t call?”
“No…”
“I don’t know if she’s in, but you can go check in her room.”
He chuckled. “Still not talking to her?”
I didn’t answer.