"That soon? What if James asks me again and then wants to get married three days later? You're not going to be here?"
The annoyance in Natalie's glare makes me chuckle under my breath. "'Thank God you're pretty. I'll just fly back ASAP. Duh, Ram Jam."
Natalie grabs the mostly empty Tequila bottle and chugs the rest then dumps it in the garbage. I shake my head and stick the remains of the joint in a pile of sand we use as an ashtray and walk her out.
"I'm going to start praying for your future husband now."
"Good. My ex-husband is going to need all the prayers he can get when I'm done with him."
A giggle erupts from my throat. "You're already calling your divorce. That's great. Who gets the kids?"
"Psh." Natalie pushes through her lips. "Won't be an issue because I fucking hate kids."
"You're a real piece of work." I joke as we step off the last step onto the first floor. My gaze flickers around the room and I pretend I'm not looking for anyone specific, but I really am. It's quiet and I don't like how empty it feels. The only light is coming from the living room around the corner. I can picture him sitting in his Chesterfield chair with a cigar in one hand, a crystal tumbler in the other. Quiet nights lounging in his leather chair are his favorite. My heart aches to be next to him, but I'm too embarrassed to see him now.
"You love me," Natalie says, taking me away from my thoughts.
"I wouldn't want you any other way."
Our smiles match each other's. Natalie grabs her purse then a water bottle from the fridge before she heads to the door. I follow next to her.
"Tell Daddy I said bye-bye."
I don't conceal my gag. Not only did she call James daddy, but she said it in a sex operator's voice.
"I hate you sometimes. Don't forget to FaceTime me while you're living your best life."
"Oh, I will be living my best life surrounded by balls like the lemons that country produces, while you'll be with ones that look like prunes under the Tuscan sun." She pauses for a second and gives me a smirk. "P.S. I wasn't supposed to tell you what James told me. So, hush, hush, like a good girl."
I stare at her long and hard. Her harmless smile is anything but. Kill 'em with a honey sweet voice and southern belle smile while throwing digs at them. I know her, though. Inwardly she's struggling not to laugh because she's that girl who laughs at her own jokes.
Finally, I speak. "I can't wait until the day you have to introduce me as your mom."
That one breaks her and she throws her arms around me chuckling. We hug each other tight for a moment longer then break apart. Pressing a kiss to each other's cheek, we say goodbye and part ways.
I shut the door and stand there for a moment contemplating what I should do. If I should go to James or just go to bed. After all the alcohol I consumed, plus the smoke, my emotions are delicate now and I feel like I'd cry easily in front of him. That's the last thing I want him to see.
Nineteen
I bite my lip and make my way to our bedroom.
I decide on taking a bath because I'm not quite ready to go to sleep yet. I need to unwind. There's too much vulnerability swimming through my veins to talk marriage with James again. I'd just end up a bawling muffled mess. Plus, he's kept his distance today, so there's not much driving me to do that.
I turn on the water to start my bath, then I undress and tie my hair up. I want him to know marriage isn't off the table, but I need time to process it. I went from not wanting to marry to changing my mind and being open to it in the span of a couple of hours. That's a lot for my heart to bear and my mind to process.
Stepping into the steaming hot water, I sigh as I sink down. My eyes close as I listen to Demi Lovato's voice croon out a heartbreaking ballad. Her brutal honesty somehow manages to trigger an arrangement of emotions to bloom inside of me.
The thing is, James Riviera is the only man who has ever done it for me. It would almost be hypocritical of me to not marry him, really.
I wave the water between my fingers, watching the bubbles fizz. Could it be possible we'd be even more in love and happy together? Like Natalie said, James loves to live by the law, so a marriage certificate would mean a lot to him. Seeing him happy would make me happy too.
I let out a long, tired sigh and sink further into the water until it hits my neck. My eyes are growing heavy when I hear the wood floor creak below me. This brownstone echoes and we can hear everything. I know exactly where that creak is too—in the kitchen near the small bar. The decanter clinks together and I can hear the faint sound of liquid being poured twice.
Hope branches through me. I sit up a little higher and hold my breath, knowing he's he
aded up to me.
The door pushes open and James steps inside, gently kicking it closed behind him. Blush tints my cheeks and my teeth dig into my bottom lip at the sight of him. My heart desires him in ways that turn me into a stage five clinger, and I'm not ashamed in the least. My eyes openly drag down his body. He's wearing sweatpants that sit low on his hips and nothing else. I run my tongue over my lip, staring at the space between his hips. His manly appeal makes him so fucking gorgeous. James is in excellent shape, despite his apparent age showing. I love how hard his body is. The fact he doesn't look like a twenty-year-old makes me ache even more for him. There's just something about a man, an older, real man, with a good career whose wisdom and confidence are his sex appeal.