'Oops,' I said. 'Sorry, I thought you were done.'
'Guess they must have been changing positions,' Lula said, looking into the car.
'You fat cow,' Ward yelled at Lauralene. 'You set me up.' And he punched her in the face.
I dropped the Maglite and the spray, and reached into the car to secure Ward, but he was a man in motion, and I only succeeded in grabbing his pants. He wriggled out of the pants, hurled himself out of the opposite side of the car, and took off running.
I ran after him, down the street to the corner. He turned the corner and kept going. He was younger and probably in better shape than me, but he was running buck naked with the exception of socks. I figured eventually the socks were going to slow him down, not to mention the outdoor plumbing swinging in the breeze.
I could hear Lula pounding the pavement half a block back.
Nice to know someone was slower than me.
Ward cut through a narrow alley between houses, jumped a fence, and fell when he caught his foot on the top of the fence. He scrambled to his feet, but he'd lost ground to me. I went over the fence and tackled him.
He wasn't a real big guy, but he was a nasty fighter. We rolled around on the ground, swearing and clawing. Turns out it's not that easy to grab hold of a naked guy. Not that I was feeling fussy about where to grab, mostly I just couldn't get a grip on anything. He caught me with a knee to the stomach, and I rolled off him in a rush of pain.
'Stand clear,' Lula yelled. 'I've got him!' And Lula fell on top of
Anton Ward, doing a perfect repeat of Roger Banker.
There was a woof of air that got squished out of Anton Ward's body when Lula made contact, and then Ward didn't move. He was on his back, spread-eagled, eyes open and fixed.
Lula toed him. 'You aren't dead, are you?'
Ward blinked.
'He isn't dead,' Lula said.
'Too bad, hunh?'
I cuffed him, and Lula and I hauled him to his feet.
'Guess we don't have to search him for weapons,' Lula said.
That's a big advantage to chasing down a naked guy.'
'Come on,' I said to Ward. We're going back to the car.'
`I'M not going nowhere,' he said.
'Don't mess with me,' I told him. I've only had an egg to eat today, and I'm feeling really vicious.'
'Not only that, but I wouldn't mind having a reason to sit on you again,' Lula said. `I'm working at perfecting my technique. That was my new special move. I'm even going to give it a name. You know how the Rock has all them wrestling moves like the People's
Elbow and the Rock Bottom? I'm gonna call mine the Lula Bootie
Bomb.'
Ward did some mumbling and started walking. 'You're as good as dead,' he said to me.
'We're so scared, we're shaking,' Lula said. 'Look at me. I'm shaking. We're getting threatened by some ugly-ass naked guy. You think we're scared of you? You can't even keep your baggy-ass clothes on.'
'You mess with me, and you mess with the Nation,' Ward said.
'Only reason bounty hunter bitch hasn't tasted the brothers so far is she's being saved for Junkman.' Ward smiled at me. 'You're gonna like Junkman. They tell me he's got a way with bitches.'
We turned the corner, and I could see the Lincoln at the curb, but no Ward car.