'You figured wrong.'
'Boy, I never had you figured for chicken,' Lula said.
Unh. I walked back to Ward and stood in front of him. 'Last chance,' I said.
He waggled his tongue at me and spit on my shoe.
I made a fist, and I told myself I was going to hit him. But I didn't hit him. My fist stopped just short of his face, and my knuckles sort of bumped against his forehead.
'That's pathetic,' Lula said.
I dragged Lula and Connie back into the living room.
'I can't hit him,' I said. 'Someone else is going to have to hit him.'
Lula and I looked at Connie.
'Fine,' she said. 'Get out of my way.'
Connie marched up to Ward, squared her shoulders, and gave him a light slap.
'Jeez,' Lula said. 'Is that bitch slap the best you can do?'
'I'm an office manager,' Connie said. 'What do you want from me?'
'Well, I guess it's up to me,' Lula said. 'But I'm pretty rough when I get going. He'll be all bruised and bloody and cut up and stuff. We might get into trouble for that.'
'She has a point,' I said to Connie. It'd be best if he didn't look too beat up.'
'How about if we all kick him in the nuts,' Lula said.
We repaired to the living room.
1 can't lack him in the nuts,' Connie said.
The either,' I said. 'He's just sitting there. I can't kick a guy in the nuts when he's just sitting there. Maybe we should turn him loose.
Then we could chase him around the house and get into the moment.'
'No way,' Connie said. 'He already knocked me on my ass once tonight. I'm
not giving him another shot at it.'
'We could burn him with lighted cigarettes,' Lula said.
We looked at each other. None of us smoked. We didn't have any cigarettes.
'How about if I get a stick,' Lula said. 'Like a broomstick. And then we could hit him like he was a pinata.'
Connie and I did a grimace.
'You could really hurt someone like that,' Connie said.
'So what we want to do is inflict maximum pain without hurting him?' Lula asked. 'Hey, how about sticking him with a needle? I hate when I get stuck with a needle. And it only makes a tiny hole in you.'
That has potential,' Connie said. 'And we can stick him in places that won't show.'
'Like his dick,' Lula said. 'We could use his dick for a pincushion.'