“Do you have handcuffs?”
“Sure. I got handcuffs. You never know when you need handcuffs.”
“Maybe I could borrow them. Just for a couple hours. I need to bring Bender in.”
“You're gonna go get Bender tonight? You need help? I could cancel my date. Then I wouldn't have to decide on a dress. You have to come over here to get the cuffs anyway. You might as well take me with.”
“You don't actually have a date, do you?”
“I could if I wanted.”
“I'll pick you up in a half hour.”
LULA WAS IN the front seat, and Kloughn was in the backseat. We were parked in front of Bender's apartment, trying to decide on the best approach.
“You watch the back door,” I said to Lula. “And Albert and I will go in the front door.”
“I don't like that plan,” Lula said. “I want to go in the front door. And I want to be the one holding the cuffs.”
“I think Stephanie should hold the cuffs,” Kloughn said. “She's the bounty hunter.”
“Hunh,” Lula said. “What am I, chopped liver? And besides, they're my cuffs. I should get to hold them. Either I hold them, or you haven't got no cuffs.”
“Fine!” I said to Lula. “You go in the front door, and you hold the cuffs. Just make sure you get them on Bender.”
“What about me?” Kloughn wanted to know. “Where do I go? Do I take the back door? What do I do back there? Do I bust in the door?”
“No! No door busting. You stand there and wait. Your job is to make sure Bender doesn't escape from the back door. So if the back door opens and Bender runs out, you have to stop him.”
“You can count on me. He won't get past me. I know I look pretty tough, but I'm even tougher than that. I'm real tough.”
“Right,” Lula and I said in unison.
Kloughn went around back, and Lula and I marched up to the front door. I rapped on the door and Lula and I stood to either side. There was the unmistakable sound of a shotgun ratcheting back, Lula and I gave each other an oh shit look, and Bender blasted a two-foot hole in his front door.
Lula and I took off, running. We dove into the car headfirst, there was another shotgun blast, I scrambled behind the wheel and took off, tires smoking. I whipped the car around the side of the building, jumped the curb, and skidded to a stop inches from Kloughn. Lula grabbed Kloughn by the front of his shirt, pulled him into the car, and I rocketed away.
“What happened?” Kloughn asked. “Why are we leaving? Wasn't he home?”
“We changed our mind about getting him tonight,” Lula said. “We could have got him if we really wanted, but we changed our mind.”
“We changed our mind because he shot at us,” I said to Kloughn.
“I'm pretty sure that's illegal,” Kloughn said. “Did you shoot back?”
“I was thinking about it,” Lula said, “but you gotta fill out a lot of papers when you shoot someone. I didn't want to take the time tonight.”
“At least you got to hold the cuffs,” Kloughn said.
Lula looked down at her hands. No cuffs. “Uh-oh,” Lulu said. “I must have dropped the cuffs in the excitement of the moment. It wasn't that I was scared, you know. I just got excited.”
On the way through town I stopped at Soder's bar. “This will only take a minute,” I told everyone. “I need to talk to Steven Soder.”
“Fine by me,” Lula said. “I could use a drink.” She looked over at Kloughn. “How about you, Pufnstuf?”
“Sure, I could use a drink, too. It's Saturday night, right? You gotta go out and have a drink on Saturday night.”
“I could have had a date,” Lula said.