This is the moment when I tell him he’s got it all wrong, that Jasper doesn’t actually know anything about me, but that’s simply not true. He does know a lot about me, apparently. More than he should.
So I stay silent.
We sit side-by-side, staring out in the crowd, sipping our drinks, pretending that everything is normal.
And for a minute, I wonder when the world stopped being normal for me.
Was it when all of my best friends ran off and got married?
Was it when they started having babies?
Was it when I decided to give notice at work?
Was it when I enrolled in college?
When did things change?
For a very long time, I was fine just being me. I was okay with being the submissive at the club everyone liked, but no one really knew that well. I was satisfied with my relationships and with my role in this place. I was okay with my friends and I was fine with how things worked, but the world is different now.
Everyone is laughing and having fun tonight. They should. It’s Christmastime, after all. It’s a time for joy and happiness and gifts and adventures. It’s a time for everything to be okay.
And it’s a time for change.
It’s a time for growth.
It’s a time for honesty.
“You’re right,” I finally say, turning back to Jasper. “I’m not okay.”
He opens his mouth, as if he’s going to speak, but I’m not done. Nope. He wanted to hear me talk, and now he’s going to hear me talk.
“We slept together. Fine. It was a one-off thing. I get that, Jasper. I’m a grown woman. You weren’t the first person to be a dick to me and you certainly won’t be the last, but you know what? Leaving the next day for months and not bothering to even call me was a shitty thing to do. Whether or not you want a relationship, the truth of the matter is that we go to the same club, jackass, so we were going to have to see each other again. You’re a bad person, Jasper, and I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
Then I stand up, and I walk out of the club in the middle of the Christmas party on the busiest night of the year, and I don’t look back.
When I get to my car, I slam the door shut, and I sit there, and I cry.
And I cry.
And I cry.
Chapter 2
Jasper
She’s got it all wrong.
I didn’t know just how wrong until tonight.
I didn’t realize the extent of how much I’d hurt her until this evening, and now I don’t know if it’s too late.
The truth is that I didn’t just walk away from Odessa. Who could? No one in their right mind would be able to walk away from that gorgeous fucking woman. She’s too incredible, too perfect.
I guess I should have thought about that sooner.
When she walks out of Anchored, my heart sinks. I know I’ve messed up. I know she’s never going to forgive me. If I could just talk to her, just explain what happened, then maybe she’d give me another chance, but I don’t really think Odessa is the type of woman to give second chances. She’s been hurt too many times for that, and now I’m just another guy who fucked up with her.
Shit.