“I grew up in a pack called the Silent Canines.”
“Edgy,” she smirks, but I can tell she’s being playful.
“I know. Don’t get me started.”
She giggles, and her voice reminds me of Elise. Oh, I wish Elise could have met her. They would have hit it off so well. Then I would have really been in trouble.
“When my parents died,” I begin, but Red cups my face, suddenly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, and I close my eyes. I could let her touch me like this all day, offering me her quiet words of comfort, but I won’t. Not if I want to get this out, I won’t. I have a story that needs to be told. The words of comfort will have to wait.
“I was an orphan pup in the pack. I was almost a teenager, but an orphan still the same. My cousin’s parents were killed at the same time as mine. There was some sort of pack feud. I don’t really know all the details. All I know is that they were there, and then they weren’t, and Elise and I had no one but each other.”
“That must have been so scary.”
“It was. Everything changed after that. Jeffrey came to our pack. No one knew where he came from. He fought two other wolves and completely slaughtered them, then he challenged the Alpha of the Silent Canines. It wasn’t even a close fight. Jeffrey demolished him and took over control with the pack. He was crazy with power after that. He killed any other wolves who challenged him. He wouldn’t even let their families bury the bodies.”
I try not to focus on the images of their corpses that haunt me. I’m not that scared kid anymore. Things are different now and I have to be braver, for Red, and for me. For a long time, I let the fear rule me. It’s what kept me a member of the Silent Canines for so long. Kind of ironic, I laugh humorlessly. The Silent Canines was full of silent members too afraid to speak up, too afraid to do what was right.
“Then what happened?” Red whispers the question. There’s no doubt in my mind that she knows just how horrible her brother is. She grew up with him. She knows he’s awful. I hope she’ll share her own story with me at some point, but right now, she needs to hear how I know him. She needs to know what this means, what being with me is going to entail.
Because the truth is that even if Jeffrey is after Red, he’s going to be after her even harder once he realizes we’re together.
Jeffrey hates me.
He views me as an abomination to all things shifter. He thinks I’m flawed and a hundred kinds of fucked up. He doesn’t care about doing the right thing, about being a good leader. No, all Jeffrey cares about are numbers.
How many members can he get in his little pack?
How many women can he get in his bed?
How many dollars can he get in his bank account?
He doesn’t care about people or shifters. He certainly doesn’t care about me. My stomach sinks as I realize that no matter what happens, Red and I are in this together now. She can’t go back to being on her own. She would be torn apart in our world. No matter how strong she is, she’ll never be shifter strong. She’ll never be animal fast. She’ll never have the speed or the senses that we have.
I have to protect her.
“My cousin started dating him,” I tell her, and she gasps. I can tell she’s obviously shocked. Whether it’s more about Elise or about the fact that Jeffrey took a girlfriend, I don’t know. “And Jeffrey destroyed her.”
“Oh, Nash.”
I take a deep breath. I have to get this out, have to tell her. No matter how much it hurts to think of how my beautiful cousin faded away with him, I have to tell Red.
She has to know what we’re facing.
“She loved him, thought she could change him, thought she could make the world a better place, but the only thing that happened was her death.”
Red puts her arms around me and holds me tight. Her breathing is fast and her skin is cold and clammy as she touches me. This moment is anything but sexy, but I appreciate her just the same. She’s reaching out to me, letting me know that I’m not alone. Who else would do that?
I’ve been on my own for so long that I can’t think of a single person – human or shifter – who would put their life on the line for me.
Red isn’t even doing anything huge or meaningful. She’s just listening to me share my pain. It’s been months since Elise died. It’s been months since I left the pack and sometimes the pain feels so raw I don’t think I’ll make it through the day. Being with Red has been the most wonderful kind of distraction.
It’s been the most wonderful kind of joy.
I hate knowing that she’s hurting, too. I hate knowing how close they were to taking her. I hate knowing that I was so close to losing her and she doesn’t even know that I’m falling for her.
She lets go of me and pulls back, but I don’t want that. Not now. Not after I’ve touched her and held her close. I hate the distance that’s between us, so I reach out and hug her. Red says nothing as I wrap my arms around her and just hold her. She’s sweet and soft to my hard and lean. She’s tiny compared to me, just a sweet little thing.