Something damaged Nash worse than I could possibly imagine.
Something hurt him so deeply that he’s terrified to his very core.
I’m afraid of what he’s going to say. I’m afraid he’s going to tell me everything my brother has done and that I won’t be able to handle the guilt. No matter what Nash might say or think, I feel responsible for my brother. I should have stopped him. I should have found a way.
When he killed my grandmother, I should have shot him, called the police, trapped him.
Anything.
I should have done anything but run.
In the end, it turns out that I’m pretty weak. A strong woman would have stayed to fight. A strong woman would have stood up to her attacker. A strong woman wouldn’t have stood by while her grandmother died mere feet from her.
Is that the type of person I am?
Am I weak?
Nash looks down at me and strokes my hair softly, comforting me without words. I have a feeling that once he tells me his story, nothing is ever going to be the same again. I might close my eyes and pretend that Jeffrey isn’t who I think he is, but we both know that isn’t true.
We both know that he’s far worse than we could ever know.
We both know he could be the end of everything we hold dear.
13.
Nash
“Jeffrey is the Alpha of the pack I used to be in.?
?? The words hang in the air and I can see her swallowing, digesting, trying to understand. How didn’t we see it sooner? How did I not figure this out? Jeffrey didn’t grow up in the pack like the rest of us. No, he came a few years ago, challenged the current Alpha, and won.
He was the new guy in town, the badass. Everyone was smitten with him, including Elise, including Aunt Germaine.
I was one of the few wolves who didn’t like him, and look what that got me.
“You aren’t in the pack anymore? You’re what? A lone wolf?” She cocks her head to the side as she asks, trying to figure it all out. I like that about her. I like how curious my girl is. Even when she asks such a simple question, I can tell there’s a lot of thought behind it. She’s not as innocent or naïve as she looks.
Not my Red.
“Something like that.” The term “lone wolf” has painful implications. The phrase indicates that something is wrong with the wolf, that he or she couldn’t get along with their packmates, that they weren’t good enough to be in a group.
The reality of my situation is very different.
I left of my own free will.
I left because I couldn’t stand the pain.
I left because Jeffrey took away everything that was important to me.
“Nash?” Red places her hand on my forearm and looks up at me. Her wide eyes blink as she watches me quietly. “What happened to you?”
I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“It’s complicated.”
“I have all day,” she chuckles, motioning to the empty yard in front of us. We’re surrounded on all sides by miles of forest. No one is coming out here.
No one human, anyway.