He hadn’t brought it up once. No, don’t you think you owe me now? Not even a hint that his actions came with a price. As though he really had just done it because it was the right thing to do.
“All right,” she agreed after a minute.
They stepped out into the cool summer night. Joel was tall enough that Nina only came up to his shoulder, and he seemed to take up more than his physical space when he moved. Nina stayed a few steps away, because she wanted to be closer and she didn’t trust herself.
Joel kept quiet until they were a little ways down the street, heading for the edge of town.
“Can I ask what brought you to Glacier?” he said eventually. “Did you hear about this place from someone? Another shifter?”
Nina shook her head. “No. I mean, I knew about the Park. I thought it sounded like a good place to shift. I like mountains. And there’d be enough people in and out that no one might notice another new face.”
“You’ve been noticed before.” Joel’s tone was quiet, but there was some kind of strong emotion lurking under the surface. “And it hasn’t gone well.”
“That’s right.” Nina felt like this was starting out too one-sided. Her past was too raw to just spill it out on the street like this.
So she turned the tables. “What about you? You ever been noticed?”
There was a pause that somehow felt—painful. Like she’d accidentally hit him somewhere that really hurt.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “Yeah, I’ve been noticed.”
There was a story there. She should push, try to get him in a vulnerable spot. But she found that she didn’t want to, not if the memory hurt. It was strange, this feeling of...compassion, for someone she barely knew. “So you get it. Safer to be anonymous.”
Joel nodded slowly. “Yeah. But it’s not safer to be completely alone.”
“Haven’t had much of a choice so far,” Nina said shortly. “There are worse things than being alone.”
Joel laughed, but it didn’t sound very funny. “You got that right.”
Nina wanted to ask what was making him sound like he was hurting. She wanted to know why he felt like he was alone...and maybe offer to keep him company. The idea sent a thrill through her.
But it wasn’t smart to be this sympathetic, this trusting, right off the bat. So instead she just said, “What do you know about it?”
Joel spread his hands. “I work at the Park. I spent most of my time out in the mountains. I’m alone a lot, and it may not be perfect, but there are definitely worse things.” He looked sidelong at her. “You seem to like the mountains. Right?”
The question took Nina by surprise, which was silly, because it was a perfectly normal question. But she never talked to anyone about how much she liked being in the mountains, because it veered dangerously close to her secret.
But Joel already knew her secret.
“I do,” she said, hesitant. “I like being places that hardly anyone has ever gone. Maybe even no one at all. I like...I like to run. And hunt. I like being out with the animals, one of them, not like a human on a hike.”
“So do I.” Joel had come to a stop, and was looking at her with a strange expression on his face. “As a shifter, you can be out there like you belong. Sleep without a tent, run up a mountain, climb trees with your claws.”
Nina nodded. Joel still had that odd expression on his face. She realized abruptly that they were stopped in the street for no reason, and looked away, starting forward again.
Joel cleared his throat and followed. “So do you have a family or anything, somewhere?”
Nina kept quiet, speeding up her pace.
“Okay,” Joel said after a moment of silence, “never mind, maybe that was too personal. I have a brother.”
“You said this morning.”
“He’s a real pain in the ass sometimes, but he’s a really good, decent man. I wouldn’t be anywhere near where I am today if it wasn’t for him.”
Did he realize he was twisting a knife? Probably not. “I’m happy for you.” Nina knew her voice was bitter.
Which was selfish and petty. It was good that Joel didn’t have to be alone like she did. She hoped he and his brother took care of each other.