“Yeah! It’s about time. You have been lusting after him since school started. It was bound to happen,” she pointed out.
I shook my head no, denying her ridiculous assumptions. “No. No, I haven’t. I mean, I said he was attractive. That does not mean I threw myself at him.”
Maria laughed. “Tessa, I don’t think you know how to throw yourself at a man. I’m sure it was a mutual attraction, and the kiss happened because it was meant to.”
“How can you say that?” I asked in horror. “He’s a professor. I’m a student. I’m his assistant.”
Maria waved her hand as if she could wipe away my objections. “Who cares. Students and professors bang all the time. Trust me; you are the not the first girl to kiss a hot professor.”
I looked at her with horror. “I don’t kiss professors, and there has certainly never been any banging,” I said with aghast.
She shrugged. “Okay, so you kissed him. So, how was it?”
I looked at her. “What? That’s what you want to know? You aren’t going to tell me how stupid it was and how lucky I was we didn’t get caught?”
“Hell no. I want to know if he is as good of a kisser as he looks. I mean come on, those lips. Those are movie star lips. All pink and full and completely kissable. And don’t pretend you didn’t notice. I mean, once you can tear yourself away from those eyes of his. Seriously, girl. He’s the total package,” she said, with a smile that made me a little jealous.
“He is a good kisser,” I said in a quiet voice. “Maybe too good. I almost didn’t stop it.”
She groaned. “You stopped it? Why would you do that? I would have been up on his desk, legs wide and begging.”
“Maria!” I said in mock horror. “You are a dirty girl. My God. Have you no shame?” I scolded her.
She laughed it off. “Not really. I’m a young, healthy woman who really appreciates the opposite sex. I’ll settle down one day, but in the meantime, there is no reason for me to live like a nun.”
Her wild ways were the complete opposite of my reserved nature. It’s probably why we got along so well. She was always dragging me to bars and frat parties. Maria could find a guy to take home within minutes of being in a room. I couldn’t. I wasn’t built for one-night-stands and mindless, drunken sex. I hated not having full control of a situation.
“I don’t know. I feel terrible, I think he was a little weirded out by it as well,” I told her, plopping down in the small chair in the corner.
She walked to her seat behind the desk and stared at me. “Tessa, it was only a kiss. It doesn’t even sound like it was a kiss that was going anywhere. I don’t see the big deal.”
I sighed. Maybe I was making too big a deal over the whole thing. I wasn’t a virgin by any means, but I had certainly never had a fling with a teacher.
“Maybe when I see him tomorrow, he’ll act like it never happened. I would be okay with that. It can never happen again,” I said, only a little sad with the realization.
“Oh, sweetie. If it’s meant to be, it is definitely going to happen. I suggest you lighten up on yourself. Loosen up and enjoy this part of your life. When you have to grow up and be a full-fledged adult, you can worry about an affair with a married man or your boss. You’re in college. This is the only time in your life you’re going to get a free pass to have some fun,” she said with a smile. “I’m certainly maximizing every minute.”
I nodded, but I wasn’t sure I felt the same way.
“Okay, I better get going. I’ll see you tonight?”
She smiled. “I have a date. Hopefully I won’t see you until tomorrow morning.” She waggled her eyebrows.
I had to laugh. This woman was very committed to having fun.
“You better enjoy being a little ho. You only have a few more months before you have to put that thing away and act like a mature, responsible woman,” I told her.
She threw back her head and laughed. “I promise, I will be the consummate good girl the minute I step into the real world. I’ll save myself for my husband.”
I opened the door, turned to look at her. “There is no saving anything, Maria. That ship sailed about two years ago when you decided to go down this road of free love,” I shot back. I had to fight back a laugh. I loved Maria. We were good enough friends I could insult her without her taking it personal.
“Don’t be jealous!” she shouted through the door I had just closed.
I walked out of the library, feeling a little better about the kiss. It hadn’t been sexual. It had been sweet and fairly innocent. One sweep of his tongue didn’t exactly cross lines into dirty girl territory. I hoped tomorrow we could both ignore it and pretend it never happened.
As much as I wanted that, I knew I could never fully get on board with that plan. Even now, I was replaying the kiss and the way it made me feel. It had been gentle. It made me feel like he was worshiping me in the most respectful way. My body shivered as I imagined what it would be like to have those gentle lips move over my body and give me the full worshiping I was suddenly very eager for.
“Stop it,” I scolded myself, suddenly feeling very much like Maria. Free love was not my thing.