Mum, I feel isolated and alone. I cannot get through this without the support of my dear, dear mother. I need my mother to support me through this testing time.
Mark, I feel isolated and alone. I cannot go through this testing time without the support of my dear, dear Mark. I need you to support me through this testing time.
Daniel, I feel isolated and alone…
At that point I fell asleep.
SATURDAY 18 NOVEMBER
11 a.m. My flat. Gaah! Woken by series of pinging and ringing noises. Searched confusedly in duvet for source.
“Hello?” I said into the landline whilst fumbling for still-pinging cellphone.
“It’s Magda. I was SO happy to get your text. We’ve all been DYING to chip in but we thought you were cozied up with your single friends and we were too boring. Anyway, you’ll come to lunch in Portobello today? And then we’ll start and get you sorted out. Of course everyone’s going to give you endless insane advice, but not me.”
“Um, I’m still in bed, but…”
“In bed? Bridget, you are wearing a bra?”
“No. Should I?”
“Yes, or you’ll end up with one breast under each arm, but nothing with underwiring.”
“Why not?” I said, thinking of my precious lift-and-separate lingerie collection.
“Underwiring crushes the milk ducts.”
“Hang on,” I answered the cellphone. It was Tom.
“Tom! Hi! I’m on the other line. Call you back?”
“OK. Check your texts. We’re meeting you in the Electric for Bloody Marys at one p.m.”
“Sorry, Mag,” I said, putting the landline back to my ear to find her still talking.
“Oh, and don’t eat raw eggs.”
“Why would I eat raw eggs?”
“But, actually, the only advice really worth taking is not to lie down.”
“How can I not lie down?”
“Not on your back, because your main artery to your brain goes through your back.”
The cellphone rang again, “Darling, it’s Mummy”—in tears—“I had no idea you needed me. I thought you HATED me, it’s been so…”
“Magda, I have to go. Mum is on the other line.”
“OK, see you in the Electric at one.”
Returned to the sound of Mum sobbing into the phone. “Darling, I thought you were on no-speaks. I’m so glad you need me, darling. Anyway, we’re coming down to Debenhams tomorrow afternoon, so will you come too and we can go shopping?”
“I’d love to, but…”
The landline rang. “Mum, I’ve got to go, I’ll call you back later.”
Magda again: “The only other thing I was going to say is don’t go swimming because it puts a strain on the uterus.”