I’m having a baby.
It might be all right with Mark—it could just be a blip.
Daniel is still in the picture, so at least one father left.
Daniel might change.
I have my own flat.
I have my own car.
I have a lovely dad.
Mum might change and start being happy about the baby instead of obsessed with the Queen’s visit.
I am surrounded by friends, both Singleton and Smug Married, like extended, warm, third-world family.
I have a great job (how long for?) and no one, apart from Miranda, knows I am pregnant yet.
But, yes. I do have friends. Singletons to have fun and laugh with! There’s no need to wallow. Will simply call Shazzer.
—
9 p.m. Conversation with Shazzer did not go well.
“Shaz? It’s Bridget. Are you and Tom going out tonight?”
There was silence at the other end: the same silence as I used to emit when Magda called to see if she could come out with us and try, Smug-Marriedly and in vain, to share in our debauched Singleton fun.
“It’s juss”—she sounded really drunk—“we’re in Hackney iss a bit kind of…out there?”
I bit my lip, tears pricking my eyelids. They didn’t even ask me to come! I’m not a Singleton anymore. I’m not a Smug Married. I’m a freak!
“Bridge. What’s going on? Have we got cut off?”
“Why didn’t you ask me to come?”
“Well…it’s just, it’s kind of a bit drunken and out there, you know, in your…”
“In my condition?”
I could hear squabbling in the background. Tom came on the phone, even more drunk than Shaz.
“It’s bit messy, y’see,” he said. “Miranda’s…”
What? Miranda as well, there without asking me?
—
10 p.m. The thing is, when you feel isolated and alone, you have to “reach out” to people, don’t you?
10.05 p.m. Am going to “reach out” by texting.
10.15 p.m. This is what have texted:
Magda, I feel so isolated and alone. I cannot live the Singleton life any longer. I need my Smug Married friends to support me through this testing time.
Shazzer, I feel so isolated and alone. Even though I am pregnant I am not a Smug Mother and need the support of my Singleton friends to support me through this testing time.