Rob, on the other hand, is a three-packs-a-day sort of guy. Within seconds, he’s spouting a stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth and cupping a hand to help light one for me too. The cigarette sizzles to life, burning with a tiny pinprick of orange light between my pointer and middle finger.
His eyes linger on me as I take a cautious drag—only to immediately double over coughing. The smoke burns at my eyes and lungs, stinging like a thousand tiny needles pricking at my insides.
“First time?”
I blink tears from my eyes and look away, stifling another cough.
Rob takes the opportunity to snake a hand between my legs. He starts mid-thigh and starts moving higher, his hand pressing against the cheap fabric of the unflattering work pants.
“I bet there’s all sorts of things that’d be ‘firsts’ for you, huh?”
The last time someone touched me like that, I was wrapped up in the arms of Astor, Blair, and Wills before Thanksgiving break. It was so, so different then.
A sickening pit forms in my stomach, and I shove him away and jump to my feet. This place suddenly doesn’t feel any better than home.
“I have to go,” I say, reaching to grab my things from where I left them on the curb beside me.
Rob catches my wrist and tugs me closer to him, his grip strong enough to bruise. This close to him, I can smell more than cigarette smoke on him.
“C’mon Teddy,” he purrs. “I know you want me too.”
I try to wrench myself free, but he isn’t having any of it. He grabs the back of my head with his free hand and uses it to smash my lips against his. I keep my lips pressed tightly together and try to push off of him with my other hand, palm flat against his chest. But he only tugs my hair, making me gasp in pain, and then shoves his tongue down my throat.
I can’t even cry out. I can’t push away. It’s just me, and Rob, and the rat returned to the alley all alone.
The sound of a motorcycle engine roars down the alleyway, startling Rob enough to loosen his grasp for just one second. And me? I bite.
Hard.
Metallic blood floods my mouth and Rob lets go entirely. I move in a frantic blur, grabbing my stuff and stumbling back and away as fast as I can. He calls after me, but I don’t look back to see hi
s reaction. I’m just running, running as fast as I can down the alley towards home.
I have to stop several blocks over to vomit into a nearby bush. The taste of blood still lingers in my mouth, and the taste of him on my lips.
I should’ve seen this coming. I should never have let myself be alone with him.
No. I think, as I straighten up and wipe the back of my hand across my mouth. This isn’t your fault.
I’ve taken blame for a lot of things in the last year. This, for once, is not mine to take.
The streets leading back to the house are darker than usual tonight, or maybe it’s just me. I move like a zombie; my limbs numb and my mind reeling. I hug my arms across my body, the closest thing to affectionate touch since I lost everything last semester.
Last year.
It’s the end of summer, and it’s been one of the most difficult summers of my life. Coming from me … that’s saying a lot.
I’ve been working as a ticket taker at the local movie theater to pay back Mrs. and Mr. White for the money I stole from the school account ever since I came back from Hawthorne Academy. Compared to my home life, which involves me taking care of the six other kids Ms. Martin, my foster mother, has in her charge … it’s been a godsend. Until now.
I can’t go back. Not after that.
After all, who’s going to believe my side of the story?
Ms. Martin’s a mean old drunk who makes every moment in her house a living hell for me, but that too, isn’t the worst of what I’ve been suffering through.
No. The worst has been an ironic juxtaposition of being so relieved to be away from school, and at the same time wishing with everything in me that I was already back. My plan to impersonate Sadie white and take her place at a prestigious prep school backfired epically, branding me as a social pariah not worth acknowledging.
Literally.