I’m so angry right now that I can’t see straight.
My aching head has turned to pounding because of the blinding anger that’s taking over all of my thoughts. It’s more than just the news that after everything, after all this time, my mother is going back to the monster that sired me. It’s more than just the come-down after the mushrooms, and the repulsive fact that I almost had sex with Tom. It’s even more than the boys leaving me behind and abandoning me for good after they promised they wouldn’t.
It’s the bond.
The bond that Lydia said I wouldn’t and couldn’t feel since I was a human.
She was wrong.
They were all wrong.
I can feel it, and I feel it more strongly than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. It feels like it’s going to pull me apart. I feel as if the connection strung between me, Rory, Marlowe, and Kaleb, has sunken teeth into each part of me and won’t stop intensifying until it is either appeased or kills me in the process.
It’s here. This place.
Rory, Marlowe, Kaleb, they’re saturated in every inch of it. Every river bend has a memory of them. Every rock in the road. Every tree, every mountain ridge.
I am going to do something foolish now, something that I know I shouldn’t do. But hell, everyone else has done something foolish and something they shouldn’t have done too. The boys all broke their promise. It’s my turn now.
Even though he’s the last person on Earth that I want to see, I text Tom and ask him to come meet me at the barn further up on the property. I really hope he isn’t too pissed off at me for kneeing him in the crotch last night that he ignores my text.
I would be.
No, actually. I’d be ashamed.
Here, now, in the cold light of day … the full breadth of Tom’s actions last night makes me want to be sick. He knew what he was doing.
If there was anyone else here who I could call for help, I would. I don’t trust him, but as it is, I need him.
Unfortunately, he’s all I have … since the only people I could trust have long since left me here alone.
21
Sabrina
Here.
That, I’ve come to realize, is the problem.
The barn is locked when I get there, so I break into the side window and use my hoodie to crawl over the broken glass. Once I’m inside, I open the front door for Tom. He arrives within minutes.
“Hey,” he says as he walks awkwardly into the barn with his hands in his jean pockets. “I didn’t think I’d hear from you today after how last night went to be honest. Look, about the mushrooms, I was only trying to help. I didn’t bring you out there with the intention of—”
I cut him off. I really don’t have the patience right now to listen to an
yone else’s stupid excuses.
“If you do this for me, I’ll never bring up last night again,” I say, through gritted teeth.
He glances up from where he’s been staring at his shoes. “You mean, you’ll forgive me?”
I laugh a heartless, humorless laugh.
“Fuck no,” I snap. “But I won’t accuse you of trying to take advantage of me, either.”
He opens his mouth to argue with me, but then he suddenly deflates. His face turns pale and sweat beads along the line of his forehead.
He nods once, his eyes avoiding mine.