I force his grip away. “You could’ve tried to have an actual conversation with me and told me the truth.”
“Oh, just like that, huh?” He puts space between us and folds his arms over his chest. “And what do you think you would’ve said in response?”
I stand taller, ready to pour my secrets out to this undeserving bastard. “I would’ve said I understood because I felt the same, and at work, we should be professional, but off the clock…” I hesitate, watching his steady eyes on me. “Off the clock, it wouldn’t be a problem. We’re adults and should be able to communicate honestly. As long as we set boundaries, there’s no reason we couldn’t date outside of the office.”
My chest rises and falls. I just admitted his feelings weren’t one-sided, and he hasn’t said a word in return. Before I can beg him to respond, headlights come into view, and I know it’s Gavin with a trailer.
“I don’t think I can watch them load her up like a piece of meat,” I say softly.
“You don’t have to. Sit in the back of my truck.”
I nod, and he opens up the door. I dip inside and turn away so I can’t see. The tears don’t fall again, though my head and heart are in disarray. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what Connor said—admitting his feelings and how he’s tried to ignore them, the same way I’ve always denied wanting him too.
Twenty minutes pass, and Connor opens the door. “Are you hungry?” he asks. “I was gonna make a late dinner.”
If my growling stomach is any indication, I’m starving.
But I’m too emotionally unsettled to eat. “Yes, but I don’t have an appetite.”
“Alright. Wanna join me up front? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to drive the side-by-side in the dark.”
I move to the passenger seat. After a moment, he starts the engine and heads toward my house.
“Will you tell Olivia?” I ask when the awkward silence lingers on too long.
His knuckles tighten around the steering wheel, and I feel bad for mentioning it.
“Probably,” he finally responds. “She’ll most likely ask about her the next time she FaceTimes me, and I can’t lie.”
“Will you tell her I’m sorry, please?” I turn and look at him though I can’t see much in the dark. “She’s going to be so sad.”
“She will be.”
“When she comes back, I’ll introduce her to another horse and give her another lesson. Let her know that. It might help ease the blow.”
“What are we doing, Elizabeth?”
I furrow my brows. “I know you aren’t used to this, but it’s called having a conversation.”
He glares at me before focusing back on the road. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Actually, I really don’t. You’re a puzzle I can’t seem to figure out. In fact, it drives me crazy. Just when I think I have the right pieces, they no longer fit together.”
With a sharp swerve, Connor slams on his brakes, then jerks the truck into park.
He turns toward me. “I confessed how I really felt about you.”
“And I told you how I felt,” I remind him.
“I’ve held back for over three years because I had to. Not because I wanted to,” he confirms.
I lick my lips as my mind wanders. “Wish I could say the same. You gave me no inclination of those feelings, and well, you’re my boss, so by making a move, I would’ve risked being fired.”
“I wouldn’t have fired you.”
I shrug, sucking in a deep breath. “Well, you’ll have to forgive me for not knowing that after dealing with your assholish ways.”
He releases a chuckle. “Assholish ways?”
“What would you call it?”
“Being professional. Staying in my lane. Not dipping my pen in company ink.”
I chuckle with amusement. “Okay, so why tell me now? Unless you’re going to fire me and…”
“I’m not firing you.”
I exhale in relief. “Alright.”
“I told you because I can’t hold back anymore. I still stand by everything I said. I’d be no good at the dating thing because I haven’t done it in so long. But honestly, I’m tired of pretending around you. Having you think I didn’t care was how I protected myself. I could’ve told you, but it never felt like the right time.”
“If you constantly go through life waiting around, you risk missing out on something that could be great.” My heart beats erratically at how honest we’re being. I’ve never seen this side of him before.
“You’re right, which is why I got so mad when Stephen’s hands were all over you.”
I groan. “They were not.”
“Well, close enough. Too close.”
“So you were jealous?”
“Yes. And I didn’t like it.”
A blush creeps over my cheeks. Hell, if that’s all it took for Dr. Asshole to admit his feelings, I would’ve brought a man around ages ago.
Okay, that’s not true. I wouldn’t have used someone to make another man jealous, but it would’ve been amusing nonetheless.